Wonderings and Wanderings

Plans: La Española

2012-01-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

I didn't get the Fulbright Scholarship. I'd been planning spending ten months in the Dominican Republic with my new bride, talking to people and doing research and exploring the country.

Then I got an email with the subject line, "Fulbright Applilcation Status." Who wants to do a scholarship with people who can't spell anyway? But actually, it was disappointing news. I called my fiance, and she took it well: this means God has something better for us. True. And this means we can have kids sooner! Also probably true. My Academic Advisor, in his typical fashion, responded with a pun: "So you're only a half-bright?"

But there's another side to the island: Haiti. My fiancé and I initially planned to go on the Baptist Student Unionmission trip to Russia, but that trip was cancelled because the dates couldn'tmesh. My fiancé thought she heard from God that we should go to Haiti, and Ithought I heard the same thing.

But last week, she texted me and told me she was having doubts aboutgoing on the trip. We talked the next night, weighing the options, then took abreak to read our Bibles and pray. She read 2 Samuel 7, where David says, “HereI am, living in a house of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent.”

To which the Lord responded, "Are you the one to build me a houseto dwell in?" Then God turns it around, saying that He'll take care ofIsrael and establish a house for David. The next morning, the same scripturecame up on my reading plan - coincidence? Probably not.

We came to the same conclusion: God wants us to establish our housebefore we go to Haiti to help build His. We're getting married in less thanfour months, and we have a lot of wedding preparation ahead of us. And moreimportantly, we need to prepare for our marriage.

Plans change. But God doesn't.

Branded

2011-12-20T10:21:00.002-07:00

As I walked out the door for my run this morning, I took stock of my outfit:

Merrell Barefoot Sonic Gloves (trail running shoes)
Injinji toe socks
Under Armour Cold Gear tights and long-sleeve shirt
Aasics running shorts
GoLite Wildwoods t-shirt
Nike 3/4 zip fleece
Mountain Hardwear gloves
The North Face beanie

A lot of brands represented there. A lot of expensive stuff.

My dad has a sign in the barn: "Pay cash. Buy the best. Make it work. Rebuild it. Recycle it. Hand it down."

I buy stuff that has multiple purposes. Like my Sonic Gloves, which are great for running, hiking, shooting, playing ultimate, whatever. Or my Cold Gear tights, which have a hole from motorcycle crash but often serve as a baselayer for skiing. And which need to be rebuilt. Or my gloves, which also worked for motorcycling and skiing.

When I tell people I shop at REI, they always say, "Oh... that's expensive." Yeah, it might be. But it's good gear that will last. And if it doesn't last, REI will take it back, no matter when, no matter what.

And it's pretty easy to find stuff on sale. In my experience, good gear is worth the cost. It lasts a long time, and it works a lot better.

Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do, or do without.

Livin' the Dream

2011-12-07T23:17:00.001-07:00

It's 2315, and I have a few more hours' worth of work I could do tonight.

But I flew for 1.5 hours today, performing 14 landings. One of which was "frickin' beautiful," according to my IP, and all of which were safe. I was staying ahead of the aircraft, aware of the other planes in the pattern, seeing things I hadn't seen before.

Last week, I had a beer with my fiance and we sat and talked for hours about theology, love, and life. Next week, we're going shopping for wedding rings. In less than six months, I'll be a married Air Force Officer, on my way to pilot training... or the Dominican Republic.

Long days and late nights? Worth it.

Thank you

2011-11-24T19:03:00.001-07:00

Thank you for family, for home, for Home. Thank you for good books and the Book. Thanks for sunshine and for rain, for ice and for snow.

Thank you for football and "little" brothers, for beer and card games, for rifles and pistols, airplanes and cars.

Thanks for phones and Facebook, dinner and walks, couches and wrestling matches.

And thank you for a beautiful woman and a life together. Thanks for her love and her faith, her touch and her laugh. Thank you for wedding plans and honeymoons plans, Air Force plans and Life plans.

In Flanders Fields

2011-11-11T19:53:00.001-07:00

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

-LtCol John McRae, 3 May 1915

Another "controversy" at USAFA

2011-11-04T22:14:00.000-06:00

Early this week, a first-class cadet sent out an email to the entire cadet wing asking for help with Operation Christmas Child. When I saw it, I thought, "I don't think they can do that," but deleted the email and moved on.

The email was approved by the Vice Wing Commander. I thought nothing of it until today, when I heard of the controversy it sparked.Apparently, 132 people emailed Mikey Weinstein of the so-called Military Religious Freedom Foundation about Operation Christmas Child. According to Fox News Radio, one cadet said, "This just shows how our military is supporting on religion - Christianity."

"The military" isn't supporting Christianity. One or two cadets made a mistake; USAFA senior leaders were unaware of the project. By sending out a wing-wide email about the program and making a staff tower announcement, the cadets implied government endorsement of a Christian charity.

"According to the [endorsement] test, a government action is invalid if it creates a perception in the mind of a reasonable observer that the government is either endorsing or disapproving of religion" (Wikipedia). As firsties and leaders in the Cadet Wing, the cadets in question are government actors. Therefore, in the course of their duty, they must not endorse a particular religion. As Operation Christmas Child is clearly a Christian charity, they cannot endorse the charity - and now they know their mistake.

So, let's leave it at that. This place is a leadership laboratory, after all.

Way up on the great divide

2011-10-16T19:26:00.000-06:00

You made this world to look so nice

I wonder what the next one's like

-mewithoutyou

Grays Peak on left, Torreys on right

We left the trailhead at 0820, after two hours on the interstates and a few minutes on a Jeep trail. Other hikers wore boots and snow pants and carried hiking poles, and we wondered if we were under prepared. We stuffed extra layers in our Flash 18 packs and set out, already above treeline.

The trail was wide and not to steep, but it was covered in hard-packed snow and ice. In the valley, the wind was calm, and the sun warmed us once it topped the ridge.

Once we left the valley, we could see Torreys Peak before us and watch the moon as it neared the horizon. The wind picked up rapidly - the forecast predicted gusts to 55 mph, and that's what it felt like.

At the bottom of the wide slope on Grays Peak, we met a man who had climbed Grays over 50 times and Torreys over 30. We planned on climbing Grays, but he said the trail which split off there was icy and long. Instead, he recommended going to the saddle and then taking a trail up Grays from there.

The path to the saddle was a little sketch. On a 45 degree slope, we had a foot or less of trail, often simply stepping in other people's footprints.

In the saddle between the peaks, we met another climber who had just descended Grays and told us the trail was pretty icy. The trail to Torreys was rocky, but exposed to the wind. My fiance put on her shell, we swapped mittens and set off towards Torreys. We looked back at Grays, and we could see the snowy switchbacks.

We were glad to reach the summit - the views were incredible. We could see the curve of the earth on the horizon. But the wind was fierce and the air was thin, so we headed down after snapping a picture together.

Pointless

2011-09-29T23:28:00.000-06:00

It's a strange feeling, walking around a clothing optional campus in service dress. Thankfully, everyone we saw was clothed, but there were hippies everywhere.

This morning, my Scholars Capstone class took a field trip to the Colorado World Affairs Council Symposium on Arab Spring Events. 500 high school students and various faculty came from all around the Pikes Peak region. We heard from Ambassador Fairbanks, who used to be the US ambassador to the Middle East, and provided his perspective on the Arab Spring. Since most of what he said we'd already read or heard, and it was pretty hot in the room, it was a struggle to stay awake. During the break, I discussed the strange system for appointing ambassadors: they usually don't know anything about their region of the world; they're appointed as a political favor. In the past, that wasn't a huge issue, since the State Department's job was simply to report, not shape, events. Today, however, in order to shape events, the State Department needs more knowledge and expertise.

I grabbed some coffee and stepped outside. It was a beautiful day; the grass was green and the trees were falling. And between the trees, I could see Shove Chapel, where I'll be getting married in less than eight months to the love of my life. We've got a long way to go until we get there - in both time and personal growth - but I'm excited about the journey to the wedding and throughout our life together.

Back inside, we listened to a debate about whether or not the US should increase military aid to rebels in Yemen, Bahrain, and Syria. USAFA cadets argued for more military aid; CC students argued that violence spurs violence. Sergent Garcia ran through my head: la sangre llama la sangre, el orgullo la muerte. The USAFA team made some good points, but the CC students came back with very eloquent counterpoints.

After another break, we broke for round-table discussions. I led a discussion between about 20 high school students from various schools in various grades. About six of them dominated the discussion and demonstrated a lot of curiosity and intellect. Some appeared interested but did not speak; others sat sullenly in the corners.

One boy said something that stuck with me: "America wants everyone on the same playing field: our playing field." He was arguing that America wants everyone to have freedom - in a democracy like ours, with an economy like ours, following our rules.

After a lunch in CC's cafeteria - which serves vegan food, a far cry from Mitch's - we returned to the Academy. I changed uniforms and served a Statement of Understanding (SOU), which delineates a cadet's rights leading up to and during a Cadet Sanctions Recommendation Panel (CSRP) or Wing Honor Board (WHB). In this case, the cadet admitted to breaking the USAFA Honor Code. On Monday, I'll write a recommendation to the Commandant: should he be disenrolled, or should he face six months of probation?

Then I did some quick calculations to determine appropriate resistive loads for a PEM fuel cell, and discussed the project with my advisor. Back to my room, I changed, and headed down to the gym for some suicides up and down the rock wall. At the bottom, grab a 'biner, take it to the first bolt. Climb down, grab a 'biner, take it to the next bolt. And so on. Once at the top, climb down to the lowest bolt, grab the 'biner, bring it to the top. And so on.

I grabbed dinner with some friends, called my fiance and talked to her for a while. I coordinated with my NCO to do some work for the Honor Review Committee, which makes changes to the Honor Code Reference Handbook. Then I wrote this.

I'm so well-rounded, I'm pointless.

DIY Steel Rimfire Target

2011-09-23T16:25:00.000-06:00

Here at the Academy, we've got what's probably the greatest metal shop at any undergraduate institution - and it's better than some graduate and commercial shops too. Mills, lathes, drill presses, sanders, grinders, sheet metal tools, MIG and TIG welders, oxy-acetylene torch, water jet, heat treatment ovens... the list goes on.

I decided to take advantage of some of the tools and make myself some steel targets. I completed the first one today, and I'll test it this weekend.

My target had to do three things:

Deflect bullets downwards
Swing to absorb energy
Not cost a lot (ideally, free)

I met all three requirements using scrap metal, a band saw, belt grinder, drill press, oxy-acetylene torch, and MIG welder.

After cutting 8" octagons with tabs out of 1/4" steel plate, I ground the edges to make sure they wouldn't cut me or catch any bullets. Then I placed the tabs in a vice and used the torch to heat the metal to red-hot. Once it was soft, a hammer bent the targets over to the 90 degree angle.

I cut a 2" wide strip from the same scrap steel, and began drilling 5/8" holes in it on the drill press. Once the holes were drilled and the 2" squares cut, I ground the edges and corners and headed down to weld. With the tabs mounted, I found some 1/2" steel round stock, cut it, ground spikes into the ends, and welded it into the upside-down U shape.

The plate angles downwards when it's hanging, and swings easily. The whole project cost me about five hours.

The one gift I truly have to give

2011-07-29T18:15:00.003-06:00

As I was sitting outside YoYogurt in my ABU's, enjoying some Mango Tango and reading a running blog, a college girl came up to me and stuck out her hand. She thanked me for my service. I stood up and shook her hand, and she apologized for the strangeness of it, saying she just came from an Army funeral. I said "It's fine," not really knowing what else to say. She thanked me again, and I thanked her, and she turned and walked away. I noticed she was wearing black dress pants and a dark shirt.

I put down the blog and sat there for a minute. I noticed her got into her friend's waiting car. Well that was nice, I thought. She pulled over just to get out and thank me. I wonder if those were tears forming in her eyes. I wonder if she noticed that I'm just a cadet.

But then I realized: she didn't thank me because I'm a cadet. She didn't thank me because I take 18.5 credit hours per semester. She didn't thank me because I chair honor boards. She didn't thank me because I woke up at 0345 to train the class of 2015.

She thanked me because this uniform means I'm willing to die for her.

"Without a word, this uniform also whispers of freezing troops, injured bodies, and Americans left forever on foreign fields. It documents every serviceman's courage, who by accepting this uniform, promises the one gift he truly has to give: his life. I wear my uniform for the heritage of sacrifice it represents and more. I wear my uniform with pride, for it represents the greatest nation of free people in the world." - Captain Karen Dorman Kimmel

Up a creek without a paddle

2011-06-08T14:10:00.005-06:00

0939: Physical therapist puts a patch on my elbow that will provide an electrical impulse to reduce swelling around my ulnar nerve. I ask her if I can still run with this on. Worried that I would sweat the patch off, she wraps it up with blue tape. It has to stay on for two and a half hours.

1020: Back at my room, I begin loading my REI Flash 18 pack for my run: proxy, mil ID, knife, matches, Gu Chomps, and CamelBak Antidote reservoir. I also stuff four Gu Energy Gels into the pockets of my running shorts, and pull on my Injinji socks and Merrell Barefoot Trail Glove running shoes. I leave a note which says, "Running Falcon Trail->Stanley Canyon->Stanley Reservoir. RTN NLT 1400." I learned that from Aaron Ralston.

My route (roughly). 4.02 miles one way, according to Google Earth.

Aside - gear info:
The Flash 18 is my go-to pack: it's my rock gym bag, my weekend bag, my daypack, my carry-on, and my hydration pack. Paired with the Antidote reservoir, it's great: the Antidote's center baffle keeps my water from sloshing around, and the bite valve is the best I've tried. Tucking the hose through the loop on the shoulder strap and then under the sternum strap keeps it from flopping around. Injinji socks are my new favorite: they let my toes move independently, and prevent blisters like no other. I won my Trail Gloves from Running and Rambling, an excellent minimalist ultra-running blog.

1040: I leave the southwest stairwell of Sijan Tower. There's a Security Forces SSgt walking towards the ECP, an M16A2 slung across his back. As I approach, he turns and says, "Snuck up on me like a ninja." When you run in minimalist shoes, you run quiet. Which could be risky when you approach armed men from behind.

1105: Reach the Stanley Canyon Trailhead. Take a one minute break in the shade to hydrate, then set off at a run up the trail.

1123: Down a Banana Blitz Gu. Hydrate. Continue hiking up the steep and/or technical parts of the trail, run where I can. Pass four high school guys going fishing. "Is this the way to Stanley Reservoir?" "Yeah, but you're only about halfway there." "Oh, man..." I run on.

1148: Reach the reservoir. Take an 8-minute break, watch the minnows swim in the shadows and four mallards on a double-date: two drakes, two hens. Not a cloud in the sky - the aspens shine a bright green against the darker green of the pines.

1156: Head back down. Meet the fishermen near the meadow. "You're a monster. Are you training for the Olympics?" "Um... nope, just out for a run." "Well you should try out. Beast." "Have fun fishing!"

1209: Stop to take off the electric patch. No noticeable difference in swelling. Down a Chocolate Outrage Gu. Those are good. Hydrate.

1217: Stop to clear rocks from shoes - stepped in a slide of pebbles and sand. Shortly thereafter, meet two guys and two girls I passed on the way up. "Oh my, he's already coming back down! That's how slow we are." They clap as I go by. One guy, out on the outcropping, shouts, "Expletive, is that the dude?"

1228: Reach the trailhead. Press through, back on Falcon Trail, back towards Sijan.

1255: Reach Sijan. Walk slowly up five flights of stairs to my room. Make myself two peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Grab a Gatorade from the fridge. Answer emails.

Awesome run. When I asked the PT if I could go for a run, I'm not sure she realized I meant a two hour, fifteen minute trail run with 2,000 vertical feet...

Fatherhood

2011-06-07T23:22:00.000-06:00

I never realized how tiring it could be to teach someone to ride a bicycle. Bending over with my hand under the saddle, running alongside, up and down the road - it's harder than I imagined.

But it is totally, completely worth it. To see the glow in that six-year-old's eyes, to see the smile creep across her face when she realizes that I've let go and she's still riding, to watch her take off on her own... it's incredible.

My parents told her about how I learned to ride, up at Indian lake. When she crashed, I told her that she was doing better than I did when I was learning. "Yeah, I bet it was a lot harder for you, since you were only five," she told me. Then she proceeded to tell me about the comic she read that morning, the tears gone and the smile coming. Then her brother rode up: "Did you crash?" And just like that, the tears came back. I kindly told her brother to keep riding, and asked her about the comic. Then she got back on the bike.

"Okay, here's what's gonna happen, mister. You're gonna hold me with both hands this time." She's pretty demanding for a six-year-old.

But I learned a lot: kids have to know you're there, that you're ready to catch them if they fall. Make them laugh, and their troubles pass. Give them compliments - honest compliments - and their confidence grows. Look them in the eye to make sure they understand. Get at their level to talk to them - either squat down or pick them up.

Later, when her mom sent her and her sister to get ready for bed, she saw a moth at the top of the stairs, and she's terrified of moths. Her parents told her she'd have to get over it, but she was paralyzed with fear. 15 minutes later, she was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, crying. I picked her up and carried her up, approaching the moth slowly. I squished it with a finger, and it flew away. I told her the moth was harmless, that it was like a butterfly, that it couldn't do anything to her - it was so scared it flew away. Her tears began to stop.

But her sister noticed the moth was trapped in a light. "Is it gonna die?" she asked as her eyes got wattery.

Now I didn't know what to do. If I said it wouldn't die, the one would still be afraid of it, and probably start crying again. If I said it would die - which was true - the other would start to cry.

So I said that it would probably die. I picked up the other girl, now crying, and told her it was just a moth, just a bug. "But God made it and he wants us to take care of it," she told me.

Now what do I say to that? With a hug and saying "It's ok," she stopped crying. Now both twins were calm and relatively happy, and ready to get ready for bed.

Again, I learned that kids need to know you're there, ready to help them. And that I won't always have all the answers. Hugs will help, but they won't answer the question.

My fiancée - the older sister of both of these girls - and I have been talking about our kids. We both want to adopt as many as we have biologically. She wants 8. I'm thinking 5's the max.

I've always wanted to be a father. I love kids. I love teaching them, playing with them, comforting them. But having my own... it's such a responsibility. And such a privilege.

It makes me nervous - am I ready? No. I don't think anyone is ever "ready" for a child - dealing with two crying twins taught me that. But I know that God has a plan, and He'll give us as many children as we can handle.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

I still haven't found what I'm looking for

2011-05-09T14:23:00.003-06:00

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like a fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

-U2 (Joshua Tree)

Fierce Love

2011-05-01T00:03:00.001-06:00

The most beautiful words I wanted to tell you
I haven't said yet...
Nazim Hikmet

Is it the one you call home?
Is it the Holy Land?
Is is standing right here holding your hand?
Sugarland - Love

I will say I love you so
When I do it you will know
Darling I will never go
Dierks Bentley - Love Grows Wild

Greater love has no man than this,
That he lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave
Warren Barfield - Love is not a Fight

Love is as strong as death,
Its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
Like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
Rivers cannot wash it away.
Song of Songs 8:6

I don't know why
I love you
I just know I
Can't stop thinkin' of you
Kyle Andrews - You Always Make Me Smile

And I love you 'cause I know
You give me a heart of my own
You make my blood flow
Like red on a rose
Alan Jackson - Like Red on a Rose

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
David Crowder - How He Loves

Home is wherever we are
If there's love there too
Jack Johnson - Home

Love covers over all wrongs.
Proverbs 10:12

And when life is bitter
There'll be love that's sweeter
And with time
We'll get better at both
The Reveling - Bittersweet

Those three words
Are said too much
And not enough
Coldplay - Chasing Cars

You know a perfect love
Is a world without hunger
Caedmon's Call - International Love Song

Casi todos sabemos querer
Pero pocos sabemos amar
José José - Querer y Amar

Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Song of Songs 2:7

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
Keith Urban - Making Memories of Us

Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you
It will set you free
Be more like the man
You were made to be
Mumford and Sons - Sigh no More

And we'll let our light shine across the sea
Showing others of the love now complete
Bradley Hathaway - Lighthouse

Raise your head
It's time to say those words
That I have left unsaid
Needtobreathe - Looks Like Love

And now these three remain:
Faith, hope, and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

I want to love you with a fierce love.

Mud on the Tires

2011-04-10T19:22:00.000-06:00

And with a little luck
We just might get stuck
Let's get a little mud on the tires
-Brad Paisley

It was a great day: the sun was shining, spring was arriving. We drove up Rampart Range Road in my trusty Jeep, Gus, and found some fun side trails to explore a bit. We stopped in a glade, explored a little, set up our hammocks, took some pictures.

After a short nap, we got back into Gus and drove to a nearby peak to watch the sunset. Sitting high above Woodland Park, the wind blew through the trees and into our faces. We watched some stars come out as the light faded.

But we didn't get enough of the stars, so we drove around, looking for a good clearing to lay on our backs and gaze at the heavens. At the bottom of a really steep trail, we found one, set out the blanket, and watched a few shooting stars. We prayed together, and headed back to Gus, hoping we could make it back up the trail.

We couldn't. We got high-centered on some really deep ruts. I dug out the rear differential, and we were able to slide backwards. Still finding no traction, I tried to roll back downhill to find some solid ground.

But in trying to get out of the ruts, I backed into a tree. Not able to go backwards anymore, I tried to go forwards, but the tires just spun. So we shoved a bunch of branches under them, to no avail. Finally, we realized we weren't getting Gus out tonight.

We had no cell phone service were we were, but my phone could get GPS coordinates. So we got those and wrote them down, then grabbed the blanket, flashlights, tomahawk, and my Carhartt and gloves. Abandoning Gus, we hiked up the hill to higher ground to find some cell phone service.

We found enough service to text, but not enough to call. So I texted a buddy in my squad, gave him our coordinates, and told him to call the police. My girlfriend texted her parents. Then my phone died.

Her parents texted back, and her dad would come get us. But since my phone was dead, I couldn't text my friend back to tell him we were OK. In hindsight, I telling him to call the police was probably overreacting; we weren't in any immediate danger. We could have easily lasted the night there if we had needed to. Although her parents would have freaked out, and they probably would have called the police - but not before they checked their own phones, and saw the texts from her. So yeah, getting the police involved was unnecessary.

After several text messages back and forth as her parents tried to figure out where we were, and an eventual phone call, her dad was on his way. We hiked towards Rampart Range Road, since we knew it would be difficult to navigate those trails and find us at night. We got a little disoriented in the dark, but I had brought the map with us, and we eventually found our way back to RRR around 2200.

We laid down on the edge of the road under the blanket, watching the stars. We both eventually fell asleep, waking up when headlights appeared on the road. But it was 0100 before those headlights were her dad's.

On the way back to her house, I called three different police departments to let them know we were OK, just in case my squadmate had received my text. All said there was no search for us.

The next morning, her dad called a buddy of his with an FJ Cruiser and a winch. We drove out to the spot, and sized up the situation.

We had to position the FJ on three different trees to pull me up far enough to get me traction. But eventually, we got Gus up on level ground.

Then we headed to her relative's house for burgers and brats. I showed up with dirty clothes and dirty feet, but that was alright. The burgers and brats were good. She told me about how search and rescue had been searching for us for more than six hours, about how my squadmate had called her house.

We learned a lot: Always be prepared. Don't overreact. And pray. There's a full list of things we learned on Facebook. Thanks to my squadmate for his help, to her dad and his buddy for getting us and my Jeep out, and to her for staying calm throughout the whole thing.

My Review of Kuhl Revolvr Jeans - Men's 34" Inseam

2011-03-28T17:16:00.001-06:00

Originally submitted at REI

From the city streets to the climbing crag, the comfortable Kuhl Revolvr jeans will keep you happy on all your daily adventures.

New Favorite Pants

By Nate from CO on 3/28/2011

Waist: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Comfortable, Lightweight, High-Quality Material and Stitching

Best Uses: Backpacking, Casual Wear, Camping, Travel, Hiking

Describe Yourself: Avid Adventurer

Was this a gift?: No

I love my old slim-fit, boot cut Levi's, but they don't let me move very much and they certainly don't dry fast.

These have a similar fit - just a little baggier - but the gusseted crotch lets you move like you don't have pants on. And the articulated knee prevents that bunch-up behind your knee that happens with jeans.

The material looks and feels tough and quick-drying. The cell phone pocket seems unnecessary at first, but it makes grabbing your phone while sitting a piece of cake.

I'll be buying more of these - if only they weren't so expensive.

(legalese)

My Review of REI Classic Duffel Bag - Medium

2011-03-28T17:09:00.001-06:00

Originally submitted at REI

Simple yet tough, our medium REI Classic duffel bag offers 2,700 cu. in. of space and a convenient storage pouch for heavy-duty gear hauling.

Rugged Bag

By Nate from CO on 3/28/2011

Pros: Durable, Good Zippers, Easy to Transport

Best Uses: Weekend Trips, Camping, Airline Travel, Short Travel

Describe Yourself: Avid Adventurer

What Is Your Gear Style: Minimalist

This bag is K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple, Stupid. Durable nylon, comfy handles. Stuffed 33 pounds of supplies in this for an orphanage in Guatemala; packed out my dirty clothes, carpentry tools, and souvenirs in it.

The little case/organizer that comes with it is super handy for stashing stuff you want to be able to find quickly, and makes this bag super small for storage.

(legalese)

Taps

2011-03-11T22:44:00.001-07:00

As we walk outside, some stars are visible where the wispy clouds don't hide them. Orion sits on top of Eagle's Peak, the crescent moon shines over Mt. Herman.

We form up and crack a few jokes, crane our necks at the sky. But then the mood begins to change, and people quiet down. Seven men stand on Spirit Hill, silhouetted from behind. The Wing Commander calls "Present Arms." We raise our salutes in unison. Three shots from seven rifles echo eerily off the mountains.

A bugler near the chapel begins playing Taps, echoed by a bugler near the flagpole. At the last note, we drop our salutes and walk quietly back to our rooms.

They might shoot those guns for me someday. They might play that song for me. I wonder how my wife, my mother, my brother, my father would feel as they hear those solemn notes.

I pray they never have to hear them, but I thank God for those who have made that sacrifice.

Better Together

2011-03-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

I scan the crowd coming up
And my heart leaps at the site of every blonde
But falls when I realize they're not you.
And I begin to worry:
Did she get lost?
Where did she go?
Then I see your face
And mine breaks into a smile
And for the first time in over five months
We embrace.
Your bags lay where you dropped them
And there's so much I want to say
But the words won't come.
Finally, "Hey Beautiful,"
As you begin to choke up.
We drive to your house, smiling the whole way
You reach out for my hand
And I like that.
We come in, you hug your siblings and your parents
It's all so strange
And beautiful.
I have to go; you come outside
And I thank God for bringing you back.
But then I choke up, and can barely whisper
Amen.
Amen.

NCLS: Things I Learned

2011-02-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

The past two days here at USAFA, we've had our annual National Character and Leadership Symposium. I had the opportunity to hear from and ask questions of three Medal of Honor recipients, a USAFA grad and A-10 pilot with three Superbowl rings, and a Lost Boy of Sudan who is now a U.S. Olypmian. Here are a few things I learned:

Cut a sub in half at an angle; it makes the first bite less awkward. - SSgt. Sal Giunta, Medal of Honor recipient
Leaders are readers.
There's no criticism for not doing the action for which you would receive a Medal of Honor. - Col (ret) Leo Thorsness, Medal of Honor Recipient, POW for six years
Good LT's never send their men to do something; they do it with them. - SSgt Giunta
Any day you wake up and there's a door handle on the inside is a good day. - Col Thorsness
We weren't created like John Wayne, we were made for community. - Chad Hennings, USAFA 1998, 45 A-10 sorties in Northern Iraq, three Superbowl championships
Competition spurs excellence. - SSgt Giunta
If you set the bar too low, they will trip over it. - SSgt Giunta
It's easier and more cowardly to give a boy an AK-47 and teach him to shoot it than it is to give him paper and pencil and teach him to learn. - Lopez Lomong, Lost Boy of Sudan, U.S. Olympian
Education for women and children is most important, everything else will fall into place. - Lomong

I asked SSgt. Giunta, who has been removed from combat operations after receiving the Medal of Honor, if he would rather be back in Afghanistan fighting, or here, talking to people like us. His answer:

If this is the greater good, if this causes one spark in one cadet's mind, if the people who invited me here to speak think this is more worthwhile, then this. This isn't about me; this is about us.

As Henry David Thoreau said: "Heroes are often the most ordinary of men." SSgt. Giunta is an ordinary man, and a great hero - and so are his buddies who fought and died alongside him.

I used to...

2011-02-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

I used to think she didn't like me.
Then someone told me how her face brightened when she mentioned me.

I used to think "You take me breath away" was just something people sang in songs.
Then she took my breath away.

I used to think shooting stars were rare but cool.
Then we laid on our backs and watched a dozen of them shoot across the sky.

I used to never write poems.
Then lines about her started flowing, and I couldn't keep them in.

I used to skip over love songs when they started playing.
Then every love song started reminding me of her, and brought a smile to my face.

I used to think "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" was a silly cliché.
Then she left the country for six months, and I found out it's true.

Book Review: Where Men Win Glory

2011-02-11T16:37:00.000-07:00

When my dad told me Where Men Win Glory was about how the Army covered up the details of Pat Tillman's death by friendly fire, I was a little turned off. But Jon Krakauer wrote the book, so I figured it had to be good.

And it was - very good. Krakauer's book is about much more than an Army cover-up; it's a book about an outstanding American who walked away from a life of comfort with a beautiful wife and a great salary to become an Army Ranger.

But Pat Tillman was more than a football player and an Army grunt; he was a philosopher who wasn't afraid to speak his mind, or write it in his journal. Pat's writings were some of the greatest parts of the book:

Sometimes my need to love hurts - myself, my family, my cause. Is there a cure? Of course. But I refuse to stop loving, to stop caring. To avoid those tears, that pain...

But of course, Krakauer is also a great writer, and he does a great job of superimposing events in Afghanistan and Iraq with Pat's career, two narratives on an unpredictable collision course. And after the collision has occurred, Krakauer pulls no punches, criticizing high-profile leaders in the Army and in civilian life for their deception of Pat's family and the public. Most of these leaders, Krakauer wryly notes, got promoted during the cover-up. So much for integrity in leadership.

The strength of Pat's character is an inspiration, and the reaction of Army senior leadership to the disastrous news of his death is a good lesson in what not to do.

Sometimes, the truth hurts. I can't imagine what it would feel like to tell Pat Tillman's little brother, as he pulled up in a Humvee once the ambush was over, that his brother was dead on a stretcher, killed by bullets from his own teammates. But if I was that little brother, I would want to know the truth, and I would hope the men around me could tell me, even if they had to take my weapon first.

Tillman's alpha male personality may be regarded by some to be his tragic flaw - his bravado led him out of comfort and into death. But Tillman died trying to save the life of one of his buddies from the bullets of some other buddies. Where Men Win Glory concludes with this line:

It wasn't a tragic flaw that brought Tillman down, but a tragic virtue.

If only more men possessed such virtue.

John Wayne was Wrong

2011-02-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

John Wayne once said, "Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness." (As Captain Nathan Brittles, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon.)

But sometimes, an apology is a sign of strength.

One of the firsties (seniors) in my squad kind of screwed up. I approached him about it, and he fixed it immediately. But then I realized he had screwed up more than either of us had thought, so I told him about that, taking with me the handbook which showed how it was supposed to be done. He listened to me and saw the handbook, but ignored both. As a firstie, he thought he knew better than a two degree (junior) - after all, that's how it was always done. He said he'd "talk to somebody," which meant he'd tried to find someone with more authority than me to back him up. But the handbook has the authority, and everyone above me backs it up. I was ticked. I had shown him the right way to do it, but he simply refused to listen.

So he talked to that someone and found out that he was wrong. And then he came back and apologized to me, said he realized he had become the firstie he'd never wanted to be - the one who pulls rank and refuses to listen to two degrees. He thanked me for confronting him and apologized for being a jerk about it.

That's not an easy conversation to have. Personally, it's always tough for me to admit that I'm wrong, especially to a subordinate. It's a mark of his character that he was willing to admit his error and apologize for his attitude.

So I learned something about leadership today: apologies aren't always a sign of weakness.

Book Review: Too Small to Ignore

2011-02-05T17:31:00.001-07:00

How does a kid who spent nine months a year being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused at a "Christian Academy" in Africa become the world's greatest advocate for poor children?

By the grace of God, he'll tell you. Dr. Wess Stafford was a missionary kid in Africa growing up, and he was the kid who eventually stood up for his friends and classmates at his school and eventually rescued them from the abuse. Today, he is the President and CEO of Compassion International, a non-profit dedicated to releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name. Today, Compassion helps more than 1 million children in 26 countries.

Dr. Stafford's book, Too Small to Ignore, is riveting and passionate. His stories of growing up in rural Africa - when he wasn't at school - offer great lessons for Western parents. In the small village of Nielle, children were part of the community. They participated in the work, learned from the old, and were parented by everyone. They mattered, not just to their parents, but to the whole community.

Some quotes from the book:

Kids want more than entertainment; they want the chance to make a difference. They are itching to get out of the pigeonhole into which we have shoved them.

When the poor and the wealthy get together, each ends up meeting the desperate needs of the other. Too often Satan achieves his wicked agenda by keeping them apart - geographically and philosophically. The result is that one tends to die in need, the other in greed.

Jesus never admonished children to become more grown-up. He did, however, exhort grownups to become more like children.

Children matter in God's Kingdom, and Too Small to Ignore is a great way to learn how to make them matter in your life.

The Cremation of Sam McGee

2011-02-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

Robert William Service

1907

There are strange things done in the midnight sun

By the men who moil for gold;

The Arctic trails have their secret tales

That would make your blood run cold;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest they ever did see

Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge

I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.

Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only knows.

He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;

Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.

Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.

If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;

It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,

And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,

He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;

And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:

"It's the cursèd cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.

Yet 'tain't being dead—it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;

So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains."

A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;

And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.

He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;

And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,

With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;

It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains,

But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.

In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.

In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,

Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;

And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;

The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;

And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;

It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice May."

And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;

Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;

Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;

The flames just soared, and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;

And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;

And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.

It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't know why;

And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;

But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;

I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.

I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked"; ... then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;

And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.

It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm—

Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun

By the men who moil for gold;

The Arctic trails have their secret tales

That would make your blood run cold;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest they ever did see

Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge

I cremated Sam McGee.

Book Review: Shopcraft as Soulcraft

2011-01-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

Mechanics don't usually write books. If they do write books, they don't usually reference Aristotle, Kant, MIT economists, 18th Century Banking sociologists, and Robert Pirsig.

Ok, maybe Robert Pirsig. But in his book Shopcraft as Soulcraft, Matthew Crawford references all of the above. Don't let that scare you away - after all, he's a mechanic at heart - and he brings them down to earth. So why would a mechanic write a book? Because he sees something wrong with the world. He does a job which society and high school guidance counselors try to guide young minds away from.

It is a rare person who is naturally inclined to sit still for sixteen years in school, and then indefinitely at work.

Crawford's writing will make you laugh, and it will make you think. It will make you want to get up from your chair and go build something, or fix something. One of his greatest points is that the trades - plumbing, framing, electrical, vehicle maintenance - can't be outsourced. You can outsource software help to China. You can build the computer itself in China. But you can't pound a nail from China.

At the end of the day, the trades worker finds intrinsic satisfaction in his work: the pipes flow, the house is built, the lights turn on, the car runs. This is what I loved about framing houses with Barry: at the end of the day, I could look over my shoulder and see what I'd built. Or at the Clydesdale farm: I could see the hay - or manure - I'd stacked.

All Barry ever promised me was long hours and low wages. Little did I know that I would earn an appreciation for real work - work I'd be willing to do for even longer hours and lower wages.

Paul's Letter to American Christians: By MLK

2011-01-17T16:55:00.001-07:00

The following excerpt was delivered at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, Montgomery, Alabama, on November 4th, 1956 by Martin Luther King, Junior.

I can imagine the Apostle Paul writing a letter to American Christians in 1956 A.D. And here is the letter as it stands before me:

I, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to you who are in America, Grace be unto you, and peace from God our Father, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

For many years I have longed to be able to come to see you. I have heard so much of you and of what you are doing. I have heard of the fascinating and astounding advances that you have made in the scientific realm…I have heard of your great medical advances, which have resulted in the curing of many dread plagues and diseases, and thereby prolonged your lives and made for greater security and physical well-being. All of that is marvelous.

But America, as I look at you from afar, I wonder whether your moral and spiritual progress has been commensurate with your scientific progress. It seems to me that your moral progress lags behind your scientific progress. You have allowed the material means by which you live to outdistance the spiritual ends for which you live. You have allowed your mentality to outrun your morality. You have allowed your civilization to outdistance your culture. Through your scientific genius you have made of the world a neighborhood, but through your moral and spiritual genius you have failed to make of it a brotherhood. So America, I would urge you to keep your moral advances abreast with your scientific advances.

Let me rush on to say something about the church. Americans, I must remind you, as I have said to so many others, that the church is the Body of Christ. So when the church is true to its nature it knows neither division nor disunity. But I am disturbed about what you are doing to the Body of Christ. They tell me that in America you have within Protestantism more than two hundred and fifty six denominations. The tragedy is not so much that you have such a multiplicity of denominations, but that most of them are warring against each other with a claim to absolute truth. You must come to see that God is neither a Baptist nor a Methodist; He is neither a Presbyterian nor a Episcopalian. God is bigger than all of our denominations. If you are to be true witnesses for Christ, you must come to see that America.

There is another thing that disturbs me to no end about the American church. You have a white church and you have a Negro church. You have allowed segregation to creep into the doors of the church. How can such a division exist in the true Body of Christ? You must face the tragic fact that when you stand at 11:00 on Sunday morning to sing praises, you stand in the most segregated hour of Christian America. They tell me that there is more integration in the entertaining world and other secular agencies than there is in the Christian church. How appalling that is.

So Americans I must urge you to get rid of every aspect of segregation. The broad universalism standing at the center of the gospel makes both the theory and practice of segregation morally unjustifiable. Segregation is a blatant denial of the unity which we all have in Christ. The underlying philosophy of Christianity is diametrically opposed to the underlying philosophy of segregation.

I must bring my writing to a close now. Timothy is waiting to deliver this letter, and I must take leave for another church. But just before leaving, I must say to you, as I said to the church at Corinth, that I still believe that love is the most durable power in the world.

So American Christians, you may have the gift of prophecy and understanding all mysteries. You may be able to break into the storehouse of nature and bring out many insights that men never dreamed were there. You may ascend to the heights of academic achievement, so that you will have all knowledge. You may give great gifts to charity. You may tower high in philanthropy. But if you have not love, it means nothing.

I must say goodbye now. I hope this letter will find you strong in the faith. It is probable that I will not get to see you in America, but I will meet you in God’s eternity. And now unto him who is able to keep us from falling, and lift us from the fatigue of despair to the buoyancy of hope, from the midnight of desperation to the daybreak of joy, to him be power and authority, forever and ever. Amen.

From Aaron Stern's blog

Lightning at 9,000 Frames/Second

2011-01-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

Incredible video of lightning. From The Goat.

Bombers or Hospitals?

2011-01-11T20:39:00.001-07:00

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some 50 miles of concrete highway. We pay for a single fighter with a half million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. This, I repeat, is the best way of life to be found on the road the world has been taking. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron.

President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Book Review: Starship Troopers

2011-01-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not really into sci-fi. But Starship Troopers was surprisingly good. It's a first-person narrative of a "Mobile Infantry" soldier in some future, intergalaxy war. Although the weapons and "Navy" - read "spaceships" are different, the infantry and Navy maintain traditions dating back to "surface ships" powered by wind sails and earlier.

And the book is quite philosphical, offering a strong critique of America's current system of deterring crime, especially in youngsters. According to Mr. Dubois, the narrator's professor of History and Moral Philosphy, "juvenile delinquent" is a contradiction in terms - and treating someone as a juvenile delinquent until they're eighteen, then giving them capital punishment, is like letting a puppy make messes inside, then killing it for doing the same when it becomes a dog.

Also according to Mr. Dubois, any moral philosophy must be based in survival; otherwise, it's worthless. Almost Kantian.

And the author takes an interesting perspective on voting: only veterans are allowed to vote in the narrator's society. Why? Because they've shown they care. Anyone not willing to lay his life down for his country has no right to guide his country's decisions. This, at first glance, seems to fly in the face of the Western idea of civic militarism. According to Victor Davis Hanson, the West has won because its soldiers - from Greek Hoplites to U.S. Marines - have a say in their government. They care more than a conscript; they fight for freedom, instead of fighting from fear.

Yet the infantry in Starship Troopers still fights for freedom - they just don't have total freedom yet. So, theoretically, it still works.

Even if you're not into sci-fi, I'd recommend this book. It's a quick, and thought-provoking, read.

When You Come Back Down

2011-01-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

Nickel Creek

Ice and Stars

2010-12-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

In summer months,
I've explored these waters
In small boats,
Propelled by paddles and arms and back -
But now, in winter,
The dock lights shine off the ice and snow
Which crunches eerily under my moccasins.
By these lights I guide my steps,
For the sky is dark,
And the stars too faint to illuminate
The water's frozen pathways.
Yet Orion is not too faint to see
And I look at him and think of you.
Can you see him? No.
Day is gathering
On your side of the world,
Preparing to thrust itself
Over the eastern horizon.
I hope you find - and spread -
Joy in that day.
And when this earth spins round,
And day finds me,
And night finds you,
May you find joy in the stars, too.

Darkness and Light

2010-12-23T22:00:00.003-07:00

Darkness is a harsh term, don't you think? And yet it dominates the things I see. - Mumford and Sons

Flint is gray city. The snow is gray, the sky is gray, the buildings are gray. With the gray comes a certain gloom.

Andrew is disabled. He can't - or won't - eat, and he can't - or won't - speak. He's five, but has the body of a two-year-old.

One of my friends just lost his sister and her husband in a plane crash. The plane smashed to the ground and burst into flames. They were a young, vivacious couple, spreading joy everywhere they went.

And yet, there is color in the grayness. There's joy in Andrew's face. And the young couple now knows the joy of heaven.

Flintians are still enjoying life. My friends and I walk around downtown, go to the Torch, have fun. One of them lives downtown, walks to work at the Flint Institute of Art, and lives Life. Andrew is delighted with an old phone as a toy, walking around with it, offering it to me so I can take the call. He crawls in bed when I tell him, waits for me to kiss him and tuck him in before he dozes off. The news story about the great young couple who so tragically left this earth has given their families opportunities to share the hope that they have with audiences large and small.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. - John 1:5

Mist

2010-12-19T21:15:00.002-07:00

My spinouts in the BSU driveway hadn't prepared me for this. Now both front and rear wheels were sliding.

The conditions had changed so fast. One minute, the pavement was dry and clear. The next, with light, floating snow, my back end slipped. I slowed, got it under control, kept my speed down.

Going 45, my back spins out. I start drifting into the other lane. I overcorrect. Start spinning to the right.

"No, no, NO, NO, NO!"

I remember it all. The stars lit up the snow and the mountains as they twisted around me. I faced back down the road. I was going in the ditch. I remember wondering - and recalling, calculating - how fast I was going. Too fast. I wouldn't be able to drive out of this one. My Jeep would be crushed.

My rear end slid off the road, into the ditch. Suddenly, I was stopped. I paused. I'm alive. My Jeep isn't crushed. I slipped in four-wheel, off the brake, off the clutch, on the gas. Nothing. Am I spinning? That would suck.

No. It stalled. Let's turn it back on. Four-wheel. Easy. Drive out. Got it. Pull off the road, push on the four-ways. Grab my Surefire and check for damage.

Jeep looks fine - not even a scratch. There are no parts in the snow where I went off. A couple cars go by. I get back in, pray, thank God for keeping me safe. Drive off. Stay in third gear, four-wheel drive.

Whew. Thank you, Lord.

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. - James 4:14

Grin

2010-12-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

If you're up against a bruiser and you're getting knocked about --

Grin.

If you're feeling pretty groggy, and you're licked beyond a doubt --

Grin.

Don't let him see you're funking, let him know with every clout,
Though your face is battered to a pulp, your blooming heart is stout;
Just stand upon your pins until the beggar knocks you out --

And grin.

This life's a bally battle, and the same advice holds true

Of grin.

If you're up against it badly, then it's only one on you,

So grin.

If the future's black as thunder, don't let people see you're blue;
Just cultivate a cast-iron smile of joy the whole day through;
If they call you "Little Sunshine", wish that they'd no troubles, too --

You may -- grin.

Rise up in the morning with the will that, smooth or rough,

You'll grin.

Sink to sleep at midnight, and although you're feeling tough,

Yet grin.

There's nothing gained by whining, and you're not that kind of stuff;
You're a fighter from away back, and you won't take a rebuff;
Your trouble is that you don't know when you have had enough --

Don't give in.

If Fate should down you, just get up and take another cuff;
You may bank on it that there is no philosophy like bluff,

And grin.

Robert William Service (1907)

Manhattan Declaration

2010-12-05T23:19:00.002-07:00

Christians have a reputation of being judgemental bigots, holier-than-thou hypocrites, and oppressive preachers.

And, truth be told, many who call themselves Christians are all of the above. But there are many others who are much more like Christ, who love the unloved, defend the defenseless, free the oppressed, heal the sick, clothe the naked, and house the homeless.

And Christians are right about the dangers of modern culture: the devaluation of human life, the glorification of promiscuity, and the oppression of all religions by governments.

Those grievances are carefully and thoughtfully explained in the Manhattan Declaration. It's definitely a worthwhile read.

Here's a few pithy quotes to whet your appetite:

We must be willing to defend, even at risk and cost to ourselves and our institutions, the lives of our brothers and sisters at every stage of development and in every condition.

We confess with sadness that Christians and our institutions have too often scandalously failed to uphold the institution of marriage and to model for the world the true meaning of marriage.

We will fully and ungrudgingly render to Caesar what is Caesar's. But under no circumstances will we render to Caesar what is God's.

Thank You

2010-11-25T21:10:00.001-07:00

Thank You for Life, pomegranates, air rifles, turkey, Mythbusters, little brothers to wrestle with, a beautiful Colorado hippie girl, nights at the range with Dad, 1911's, light and fluffy rolls, birch trees, moccasins, apples, late night movies with little brother, squash, raspberry-rhubarb pie, woodstoves, Euchre, Levi jeans, clementines, Google Voice, Grandparents, and everything else.

Six months

2010-11-22T14:05:00.002-07:00

Six months ago, I took a beautiful blonde Colorado hippie girl to dinner at The Sunbird. Her mom and my mentor's wife were jealous - their husbands had never taken them there. I borrowed a car from a friend's dad - a Pastor who tried to convince me that dating isn't Biblical.

I'm glad he didn't. Today, that beautiful girl is in England following Jesus, and our relationship remains strong: in fact, it grows stronger. To be fair to the Pastor, I think he's right to some degree, and our relationship was more than simply dating. From the start, we knew there was a very strong possibility of marriage. Otherwise, there'd be no point.

The day after that first date, I went to the zoo with her whole family, and gave her five-year-old twin sisters rides on my shoulders. The day after that, I left for four weeks in the Dominican Republic. I came back for two nights, one of which we spent up on the ridge, laying on our backs, watching shooting stars. I held her soft hand on the way down. Then I left for three more weeks.

After that, I was in town the rest of the summer. We worshiped together at Woodmen Valley Chapel and at theMILL. I bought a Jeep and we went exploring in the mountains a bit. Labor Day weekend, I took her home to meet my family - and all of my close friends. She sat on the deck and Kurtis interviewed her while I played frisbee in the backyard. We went to my grandparents' in the thumb and walked out onto the Port Austin Pier in a storm. The waves crashed over us, soaking our jeans. The rain and hail blew sideways, but we held each other close and wondered at the beauty of it all. Back at home, we stood in the backyard and craned our necks at the stars. Then we buried our faces in each other's shoulders and I held her. A prayer sprang up in my heart, and I let it out. I had prayed in this very spot so many times before. I couldn't believe I was praying there with such an amazing woman in my arms.

We came back to Colorado and I called her mom to let her know her beautiful daughter was home safe. Three weeks later, she left for England. It was raining when we said goodbye; I held her close and prayed and wondered if the water on her cheeks was from her tears or from the sky.

She's going to India at the end of December: Is she in your village, when can I meet her? Her faith is incredible. I know that God is leading her, and that makes it easier to be an ocean - or two - away. But I long to have her in my arms again, to feel her heart beat as I pray for her and for us.

2010-11-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

The most beautiful sea:
hasn't been crossed yet.
The most beautiful child:
hasn't grown up yet.
Our most beautiful days:
we haven't seen yet.
And the most beautiful words I wanted to tell you
I haven't said yet...

-Nazim Hikmet
Stolen from J-Team's blog.

Breakfast.

2010-11-11T11:14:00.001-07:00

God's love is meteoric,

his loyalty astronomic,

His purpose titanic,

his verdicts oceanic.

Yet in his largeness

nothing gets lost;

Not a man, not a mouse,

slips through the cracks.

Psalm 36:5-6 MSG

When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord.
John 21:9-13

When you're wondering if God cares about the little things you're dealing with, remember: Jesus made breakfast. The Jewish equivalent of bacon and eggs. Over a fire of hot coals. While his friends were working.

He loves us.

Religion

2010-11-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

“Religion is the attempt of the human race to explain the inexplicable: Where did we come from? What is our role here? What happens when we die?” - Geopolitics Professor

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless as this: to look after orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - Jesus Christ, John 10:10

There's more than one way to skin a cat...

2010-11-03T16:19:00.000-06:00

"One particularly interesting kill was scored by a Marine Lieutenant R. R. Klingman of VMF-312 Checkerboards, over Okinawa. Klingman was in pursuit of a Kawasaki Ki-45 Toryu ("Nick") twin engine fighter at extremely high altitude when his guns jammed due to the gun lubrication thickening from the extreme cold. He simply flew up and chopped off the Ki-45's tail with the big propeller of the Corsair. Despite missing five inches (127 mm) off the end of his propeller blades, he managed to land safely after this ramming attack. He was awarded the Navy Cross."

From the Wikipedia page on the Corsair fighter.

Laughing with

2010-11-01T22:51:00.000-06:00

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God
When they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God
When it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God
When they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they're mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one's laughing at God
When there's a famine or fire or flood

But God could be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God themed joke or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they're 'bout to choke

God could be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God
When they've lost all they've got and they don't know what for

No one laughs at God
On the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see
Is a pair of hateful eyes
No one's laughing at God
When they're saying their goodbyes

But God could be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God themed joke or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they're 'bout to choke

God could be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
When they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God
We're all laughing with God

"Laughing with" by Regina Spektor

Things I learned this weekend

2010-10-31T15:38:00.005-06:00

-When you wear running moccasins in an airport or at a marathon expo, you get a lot of questions.
-Tiger Tail actually works.
-When you wear huarache sandals at a marathon, you get a lot of questions.
-Copious amounts of Chamois Butt'r do a man good at a marathon.
-If you put a Gu in a pocket next to your tailbone and then sit on your tailbone, it may burst. Then you'll have Gu in your buttcrack for 26.2 miles.
-Buying a goodwill hoodie and throwing it away in the first few miles is a good idea for a fall marathon
-You should do at least twenty miles before your marathon.
-You should make sure your feet are used to your shoes before a marathon.
-Family and funny signs go a long way to motivate you during a marathon ("Why do all the cute ones run away?" "26.2: because 26.3 would be crazy.")
-Bible verses and worship songs go even farther.
-Navy medical corpsman know what they're doing. ("If you were my guy in the field, I'd wrap it up and tell you to press on.")
-USAFA parents are always proud of their cadets. And they make great host families.
-It's a lot easier to run when there's a beautiful blonde at the finish line. If that beautiful blonde happens to be in England, you'll think about her a lot during the run.
-Purple umbrellas make it easy to find your family.
-Buff headwear, UA shorts, and Oakley glasses are worth it.
-Having a Marine LT put a medal over your head feels pretty darn good.
-Flying back the day of the race sucks.
-Arctic Ease is the best way to ice an injury I've ever used.
-I can wake up at 0520, start running 26.2 miles at 0800, walk a few miles afterwards, catch two flights, get in at 2130 (2330 where I woke up), and drive for an hour.
-When you walk down stairs backwards, people give you weird looks.
-26.2 miles? Worth it.

Bullet's in the gun

2010-10-29T19:58:00.003-06:00

Never see it comin'
It just hits you by surprise
It's that cold place in your soul
And the fire in her eyes
That makes you come together
Like wild horses when they run
Now the cards are on the table
And the bullet's in the gun.

-Toby Keith

For the Painter of the skies

2010-10-23T22:33:00.002-06:00

The snowy mountains are hidden by the rain
Falling like a tattered curtain,
Its edges fringed with golden sunlight.
But there's a hole in the wall
And the sunbeams break through
Shining on the roof of clouds.
The peaks to the west
Darken the fiery sky with their silhouettes
And the clouds to the east show off their colors:
Purple, pink, and red.
The big red barn gives it all perspective
And my feet patter on.

You walk on waves
You run with clouds
You print the skies
For me to see
Your majesty
Your majesty
Is why I sing.

Crouch. Leap.

2010-10-20T18:03:00.000-06:00

My fingertips cling to small holds near my chest; my toes rest on holds under the overhang.

I crouch, then come up, then crouch again, three times. I eye the hold I'm going for, wondering if I'll have enough power to reach it and hold it. I leap.

Not enough power. Slipped off.

Jason gives me some tips: crouch only once. Fully extend your arms. Then go for it.

I wait a bit, then get back on the wall. Find the holds, crouch, eyes on the target.

Leap.

Nail it. I feel the rough hold under my fingers as they wrap around to the back. My hand hooks over the top, and I hang there, smiling and twisting. Got it.

As I walk back up to my room, I think about this, and other things that have happened in my life recently. My interview for a scholarship went poorly, and my name was taken off the list. I was taken aback.

But there's no point in crouching and coming back, wondering if I'll get there. In fact, that will only hurt my chances to get there. But if I concentrate, crouch slowly, keep my eye on the goal, then go for it with all I've got, I'll make it.

Of course, I'm not sure exactly what I'm going for yet. That's where God comes in. He knows where I'm going; there's no reason to be afraid because He's by my side. And right now, He's making sure I'm fully extended, stretching my muscles to get the most power out of them.

And then one day, I'll leap.

Work

2010-10-17T21:41:00.000-06:00

I've never had to worry about finding work. And until recently, I haven't realized how much of a blessing that is.

I met a new friend at theMILL last week and asked him how he was doing. The first thing he said? "Pretty darn good - I finally found some work. Praise God!" I could tell from his handshake and his clothes that this was a hard-working good 'ol boy. He isn't lazy, but finding work is still a struggle.

Two weeks ago, as I hauled rock and shoveled dirt with my girlfriend's dad, I began to realize what it's like to live without a guaranteed paycheck. Certainly, he runs his landscaping business well, but he never knows when a drought might come or a depression hit and put him out of work. "I never got a job from a poor man," he said. Trickle-down economics works - but when there's a shortage of money at the top, there's a lot less trickling down.

As I think about all this, my dad's words echo in my head: "Son, you've got a lot of problems a lot of people would like to have."

Man up.

2010-10-08T22:04:00.001-06:00

The average age of video game users is 35. Men ages 18-42 will change jobs 11 times. In the last twenty years, there has been a 100% increase in the number of men in their twenties and early thirties living with their parents. Every second, $3,000 is spent on porn.

"Church Planter" by Darrin Patrick from Crossway on Vimeo.

It's time to man up. It's time to put down the video game controller. It's time to commit. It's time to move out. It's time to quit porn.

It's time to respect the women around us. When Saul had his servants ask David to marry his daughter, David responded, "Do you think it is a small matter to become the king's son-in-law? I am only a poor man and little known."

David's humility is an example for us all. We all pursue daughters of the King. Do you think that is a small matter? Are you ready to become the King's son-in-law?

Men, we need to step up to the plate. We need to set boundaries and take responsibility for breaking them. We need to lay our lives down for women. We need to lead, to protect, to prepare.

It is no small matter, this life we're called to live. Are you ready?

Thank You

2010-10-02T19:52:00.001-06:00

There's a fire in the western sky
Framed by the mountains.
As the sun sinks down
And day turns to dusk
My feet quicken.
I move like a shadow through the grayness
Silent
Save the soft patter of my feet.
Clad in gray,
Swift and smooth,
Running towards a destination
Unseen.
As the clouds thicken
And night gathers,
And the stars begin to shine,
I thank God
For these mountains
For this trail
For these legs
For this heart.
For what is man that You are mindful of him?
Thank you, Lord.

Loyalty

2010-09-28T18:27:00.000-06:00

Loyalty is "one of the greatest virtues that there can be in any person, and especially in a knight, who ought to keep himself loyal in many ways. But the principal ways are two: first to keep loyalty to his lord, and secondly to love her truly in whom he has placed his heart."

-Order of the Band of Castille

Jeepin'

2010-09-26T19:58:00.003-06:00

The trees get scrawnier and the path gets sketchier as we near the treeline. Then we roll out of it, over rocks, with the mountain climbing to our right and falling to our left. The moon shines on the valley floor thousands of feet below us.

We come to the end of the trail and park, get out and walk around. It's all gray rock and a little scrub pine, orange and green lichen on the ground. We can see the Milky Way and the Big Dipper and the other fourteeners around us, the moon casting shadows on their faces. In the valley behind the peak, a campfire flickers; other than that, there is no sign of civilization.

We gather around a cross someone placed there and open the Bibles on our phones. Gordon reads Psalm 19; I read Psalm 8:3-4.

When I consider the heavens,
The work of your fingers,
The moon and the stars,
Which you have set in place,

What is man that you are mindful of him?
The son of man that you care for him?

Stupid things

2010-09-23T19:03:00.003-06:00

"Rationally speaking, what kind of fool would walk an hour and a half hoping for 180 feet of delaminating slush and horror? But we do all kinds of stupid things when you think about it. We work too much, don’t make the most of our pre- and post-work time, or our lunch breaks, or our time with friends, and the list continues. Hell, people mow their lawns. Why? For what? Step away from the 'well, everyone does it' thing and you realize that mowing your lawn makes September ice climbers look like rocket surgeons."
-From "Chasing Friday" on The Cleanest Line.

Yeah. I'd bet that would work on my dad as well as the "Mom, if we clean before company comes, it's like we're lying to them. We're saying the house always looks this nice, but it really doesn't."

But, I think it's true.

In other news, I went for my first run with the marathon club today. The guy who led it - my coachee from last year - took us on a pretty sweet trail through the woods. Marine Corps Marathon in five weeks.

Rain

2010-09-22T16:03:00.001-06:00

You ride on my back
As the rain softens our skin
I don't know what to say:
It's strange to me
That you should go and I should stay.
Hay tanto sentido en mi pecho
Y yo no puedo expresarlo.
I don't have words to whisper
As you prepare to go and follow:
Those three words
Are said too much
And not enough.
So I quote scripture and hold you tight
And pray for you
And for us.
What if this is our last embrace?
May His will be done.
We hold back the tears
As I climb in my Jeep
And I realize how fitting
Is this rain that's falling.

A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

2010-09-20T20:30:00.000-06:00

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."

So let us melt, and make no noise,                                       5
    No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
    To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ; 10
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
    —Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove                                     15
    The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. 20

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so                                          25
    As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
    To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam, 30
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
    Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,                                    35
    And makes me end where I begun.

By John Donne (1896)

Sun come up through them trees

2010-09-18T12:41:00.000-06:00

As everyone leaves the dying fire and heads for bed, I reach into my pack and pull out my Bible, flipping to a verse that's been running through my head the whole night:

When I consider the heavens,
The work of your fingers,
The moon and the stars,
Which you have set in place,
What is man that you are mindful of him?
The son of man that you care for him?
Psalm 8:4

In the morning, I hear voices around our campsite, and peek out of my sleeping bag to see Bill and Matt packing up. They had to head back down for Matt's game, but I lay back in my hammock and stare at the sky.

The wind blows, and golden aspen leaves float down, riding on the wind, twisting this way and that. The sun lights up the western ridge, covered in pine and rock and aspen. A bird wings across above me: every time it opens its wings, the sun shines on its bright breast with a golden gleam. Then it closes its wings and it becomes a brown speck, launching itself through the air.

I reach down and grab my JetBoil fuel and stuff it in my bag with me so it warms up. Later, I climb out and start boiling water for oatmeal. Carly crawls out of her tent and eats it, then I make myself a bowl. Once everyone's up and packed up and the fire's out, we head up to the peak.

The aspens are beautiful, golden patches in the evergreen forest.

Up on the highest mountaintop, just wanna hold that breath forever...
"Changes in the Weather" by Barefoot Truth

Marine Corps Marathon 2010

2010-09-13T23:28:00.000-06:00

I went to an informational meeting for the Marathon Club last week, but I never imagined that would earn me a slot for the 2010 Marine Corps Marathon. When I was offered the slot, I hesitated at first - I probably have to pay my own airfare - but decided to take it. How could I pass up 26.2 miles through D.C., especially Arlington?

So, I have 47 days to train for a marathon. I did 14.5 miles on Saturday morning, on Falcon Trail: tons of elevation change. The low point is Stadium Boulevard; the high point is the Stanley Canyon trailhead - plus three huge ridges and several other smaller ones. It took me 2 hours and 50 minutes, including stops to grab stuff out of my pack and check maps. That's an 11:45 mile - very slow. However, it's at 7,000 feet, and it's hilly.

I hope to finish the MCM in 3:45, fast enough to qualify for Phase 1 of the Pikes Peak Ascent at the end of next summer. We'll see.

I'm also thinking about turning this into a charity run. Maybe you'd sponsor me a quarter or a dime for every minute it takes me. The faster I go, the less you pay. I'd donate the money to an orphanage in Guatemala.

Stay posted for details on that.

Leadership

2010-09-13T17:13:00.001-06:00

LtGen Gould, our USAFA Superintendent, is obviously well liked. After crowd-surfing the bird and the cadet wing commander, we started chanting, "We want Gould! We want Gould!" Cheers erupted as he ran across the field and crowd-surfed to the top of the stands.

Death by PowerPoint - and how to fix it

2010-09-12T21:47:00.002-06:00

Death by PowerPoint

View more presentations from www.kapterev.com.

Thoughts of late

2010-09-12T13:34:00.000-06:00

"Religion" is bogus
"Jesus didn't come to make us religious. He came to make us human." - Pastor Matt Heard
Christianity isn't about rules or regulations - it's about freedom. His grace sets us free.

Today in church, we sang "How he loves" while a video of little kids acting out Jesus' life played. It brought me to tears. My body shook as I sang

He is our portion and we are His prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking...

Communion isn't about rules
It's about remembering. You don't have to be a member of the church. It doesn't have to be unleavened bread and real wine. It can be leftover dinner rolls and red Powerade, or a loaf of bread and some grape juice.

"This is my body, given for you... do this in remembrance of me."

The man's got to lead
In a relationship, it's the man's job to lead. It's his job to protect and care, to make decisions and guide the relationship. To say what needs to be said and to hold back what shouldn't be said yet. He must always be honest. He should pray, to himself at first, then out loud, with her.

Something old, something new

2010-09-06T06:46:00.000-06:00

The clouds are creeping across the sky
And the jack pines creak in the breeze.
The grass is wet and it's cold
But we stay and stare at the heavens.
Then I pray and I feel your heart.

The waves crash over the pier
And the hail flies horizontally.
I shield you with my body
But soon we're both soaked.
Then your smile brings out the sun.

The breeze ruffles the target
And the sun glints off the barrel.
You try shooting from a sitting position
But you're frustrated 'cause you miss
Then you lie prone, and hit the bull's eye.

The grass is green and the breeze is light
And Josh Turner plays on the deck.
I play frisbee in the grass
But you stay on the porch
Then I see you, watching me.

The sun is starting to get low
And the air is beginning to cool.
In my park, we walk along
But you stop to take pictures.
Then you put your hand in mine.

The coals flicker in the wind
And the fire smells like hardwood.
My dad cracks his old jokes
But you find them hilarious.
Then they head in and we talk and pray.

That college thing

2010-09-02T09:22:00.001-06:00

"I've taught for twenty years and I never talk about my personal life in class.

"But I buried my best friend on Sunday and my mom's had two heart attacks this week. I didn't think it would bother too much, but it did.

"Ukranians came to North Dakota to be wheat farmers. I grew up a roughneck. I worked the night shift on oil rigs and went to college during the day.

"When the drill bit wore out, we had to pull up all the pipe to get to the bit. So I was 100 feet up on the platform, opening up the hole, pulling out 90 foot sections of pipe and stacking to them side. Then, putting the pipe back in, you had to throw the section in and latch up the hole, all in one smooth motion.

"One night, we had an engine malfunction, so I had to go down and fix that. When I came back up, I forget to reconnect my harness. I threw in a section of pipe and just kept going, leaping across and down 25 feet, 100 feet above the ground. I climbed around the outside the platform and went right back to work.

"One of the guys I worked with as nicknamed 'Ick.' He put rodents in his mouth. On the platform.

"Another guy got caught in a blowup. 80% burned. I visited him in the hospital, he was all bandaged up. He told me, 'It's ok, they're gonna replace everything in my locker.' I thought, dude, you're never gonna walk again. You're never gonna work again. You won't need steel-toed boots and gloves.

"So I went to college so I wouldn't have to work on oil rigs the rest of my life. We had to tear down and rebuild the rig every 7-10 days to drill a new hole. I was terrible at dying knots. They'd say, 'H put one of those college knots on it.' They made fun of me - I was the guy who went to school.

"I came back about ten years after I got my PhD and wound up in Greeley. I was in a bar, saw a guy I used to work with. 'How's that college thing workin' out?' He asked.

"It works."

This is from my geopolitics teacher, a man who spent his summer flying around the world, making youtube videos for class. He's written three geopolitics books. He owns a house in France.

"Yeah, it works."

Stress

2010-08-29T16:29:00.001-06:00

Life's been busy lately, and there's been a lot hanging over my head: GR's (Graded Reviews, USAFA-speak for "test"), scholarship application, honor cases... it piles up. It stresses me out. What if I don't study enough? What if I don't get selected for the scholarship? What if it doesn't work out?

I go to climb and I go to run to reduce stress. But, as Matt Heard talked about at Woodmen Valley Chapel this morning, sometimes we get distracted by painkillers. When Peter denied Jesus, he was always "warming himself by the fire". Am I "warming myself by the fire" of the climbing wall? Of the trail?

But what God's shown me is that He has it under control. I need to do my part and do my best, but I don't need to worry about the future. If I'll need a joint master's degree in public policy and business administration, He'll get me one. If I don't, He won't waste my time.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Because He Lives

2010-08-25T23:06:00.000-06:00

God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living
Just because He lives.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

-Lyrics: Bill and Gloria Gaither

El niño

2010-08-23T15:35:00.001-06:00

There's a little poor kid in Guatemala, praying for me every day.

That just blows my mind. He asked me if I've been healthy.

You know, I've never really had to worry about my health. Sickness passes quickly; strains don't slow me down.

But health is a serious issue in poor Guatemala. And this guy cares about my health.

This guy matters. Jesus loves this guy. I love this guy.

I'm making a difference in his life. But he's making a difference in mine.

You can make a difference in the life of a child. Check it out: Compassion International

Simple.

2010-08-17T22:05:00.001-06:00

It started with hammocks. Now the back-to-basics idea has permeated a lot of my life.

I wear my huaraches nearly everywhere. They're simple, cheap, and comfortable. People have been wearing them for thousands of years. People have been running in them for thousands of years. Who needs EVA foam and Shox and arch support? No one, really. Simple.

I climb. I've been climbing since I was a toddler. It started with the kitchen counter - and I have the scars to prove it. I climbed in trees; my mom yelled at me for getting sap on my clothes. Now, I climb in the base rock gym three times a week, building strength, trying to learn form. Climbing, like running, is a simple, inborn sport. It doesn't take much to get started. All I have is a pair of climbing shoes, and I boulder. Simple.

I check ingredients lists. If the ingredients list is longer than three short lines or has any words I can't pronounce or High Fructose Corn Syrup, I try to avoid it. I go for organic foods, foods with less than ten ingredients, for 100% juice. I make pancakes with heirloom seeds and cornmeal. They're delicious. Simple.

I backpack. I'm becoming a minimalist. I take a hammock, a tarp if it looks like rain, a sleeping bag, and some food. I want to camp, as for night, to avoid settling down on earth and forgetting eternity. Simple.

The truth is, Jesus lived simply. He didn't let society or materialism or anything else get in his way. Now, I'm not saying Jesus was a tree-hugger. Now that I think about it, that's morbid. Jesus is the Savior of the world, and He has much more to teach us than what kind of shoes to wear.

But a simple life is a better life. I want to "learn the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." - Philippians 4:12

Security

2010-08-17T21:47:00.001-06:00

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. - Hellen Keller

2010-08-15T19:19:00.003-06:00

Justice. Mercy. Humility.

2010-08-15T16:24:00.001-06:00

With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?

Shall I come to him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?

Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?

Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

He has showed, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:6-8

Risky Business

2010-08-15T16:00:00.002-06:00

"Safe? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the king I tell you."

That's Mr. Beaver, telling the children in Narnia about Aslan, the lion-king.

Today's message at Woodmen Valley Chapel reminded me of that. Jimmy Dodd taught about getting outside your comfort zone, about going and caring. (Sermon will be available here soon. The first sermon in the series is already available.)

He went on a trip to China with his son. As you know, Chinese parents are allowed one child, and they want a boy - if they don't have a boy, there will be no one to care for them when they get old. As a result, many girls are abandoned and wind up in orphanages. Jimmy asked what happens to the girls. "Well, when they get older, they're not so cute, so they don't get adopted." Then what happens? "Some find a job; most wind up in prostitution." So those little girls turn into women, staring at a ceiling.

While some man - who might give them enough food to get through the day - abuses them.

That's heartbreaking. So Jimmy came back, and started looking into adoption. When the approval came, he and his wife dropped everything, flew to China, and came back with their little girl. God was still stirring in their hearts. So they prayed, "Lord, why shouldn't we go back?" Notice the difference - not 'why should we go?' 'Why shouldn't we go?'

Why shouldn't you go?

None of us were born into God's family. We were adopted. All of us. "Church is a gathering of rescued children." Why don't we give back? There are one hundred orphans in Colorado Springs - according to some, this city is the evangelical capital of the world. So why are there 100 orphans?

Every Christian must be involved in orphan care. It's part of the job description. Is there a risk? Of course there's a risk. To go outside your comfort zone, to go after the heart of God, there's a risk. But my friends, safety is an illusion. We don't know what tomorrow will bring.

Mike Fox, a successful businessman who gave up his fortune to help orphans, also spoke. Great man. "When you're in God's will for your life, risk avoidance is not an option." He runs The Global Orphan Project - check it out. Get involved. I'm exploring options for a mission trip with them.

As for Aslan? As for Jesus? 'Course He's not safe. But He's good.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. - James 1:27

The part they left out in the admissions brochure

2010-08-12T08:07:00.004-06:00

According to Princeton Review, the US Air Force Academy ranks:

#1 Most Accessible Professors

#8 "Is it food?"

#13 Least happy students

Although I've heard Academy leadership tout the first ranking on many occasions, I've never heard them mention the other two. Strange.

Cynicism is a big problem here - and stuff like this will cause it. I'm a pretty happy camper here at Camp USAFA, as we affectionately call it sometimes, but there are a lot of unhappy cadets.

I think it has to due mostly with a lack of communication from leadership: why are we doing weekly reveille formations? Why was our group commander not there? Why can't we get the music and the commands coordinated, so everyone can actually salute when the flag goes up?

My dad sent me an article last year about how important it is for leadership to communicate policies and the reasons for those policies. If workers understand the reasons, they'll be more happy about the policy. If they feel they have a say in deciding policy, they'll be even happier.

But here, we don't know the reasons and we don't have a say.

Don't get me wrong - the Academy is a great place. Like I said, I'm a happy camper: usually because I can walk into the mountains and camp. But there's always room for improvement.

Profess

2010-08-06T15:02:00.004-06:00

"Yet it is admirable to profess because it was once admirable to live." - Henry David Thoreau, Walden

It's the second day of class, and those words wouldn't stop running through my head. I don't want to sit in a class and listen to an instructor who hasn't lived. One who's spent his whole life in academia.

For the most part, I won't. My GeoPolitics instructor spent his summer travelling literally around the world. My thermodynamics instructor worked on kill vehicles as part of the missile defense system. My lab instructor has six kids. In my history class, we'll read The Unforgiving Minute: A Soldier's Education by Craig Mullaney: West Point Grad, Rhodes Scholar and US Army Ranger.

It should be a good semester. Another quote running through my head in Ethics class, talking about the morality of war:

"Many that live deserve death. And many that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so quick to deal out death in judgement." - Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings

A Man of substantial character

2010-08-04T19:49:00.000-06:00

"I was at a small Air Force Base in Germany, flying OV-10's, keeping the east Germans out of the west. On December 24th, my wife and I had a serious issue: our daughter had been lethargic for four or five days. It was 17 kilometers to the base clinic. It was snowing cats and dogs.

"We got there, and the flight doc didn't care. I was a forceful 2nd Lt, and I got my daughter to the emergency room doctor. He looked her over for thirty seconds and said, "She has spinal meningitis. And he said it like he didn't care. The world stopped spinning. My wife and I stared at each other: we couldn't say anything. And right then, LT tapped me on the shoulder and said, Magoo, what do you need? And I said, I just need a hug.

"I don't know where I'd be without LT, a member of the class of 1982. A man of substantial character.

"A few years later, I'd done pretty well in the flying world, and I got to take the squadron I'd been serving in over to Operation Desert Storm. One day, I was mission lead, and we had a rough day: two aircraft down. It was a three-hour jaunt back to base. I got there, and walked over to base ops in the 150 degree heat, shoulders slumped - it was a sad day. And I thought, whoever the commander of these forces is must be feeling terrible right now. And then someone tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to an old gray-haired man, the commander of those forces. And he had a huge smile on his face, and he put his arm around me, and he said, Magoo, how ya doin'? And I said, Right now I'm fantastic, sir. Brigadier General Bethurem was a member of the class of 1966.

"The General. A man of fantastic character.

"I was the commander, and my squadron had just returned from the sandbox. I was with my wife and the members of my squadron, my group, my wing. It was about 2000, and something dropped inside me. I told me wife, let's get out of here, let's go home. That wasn't normal for me. About 0200, I got a call. I knew it was bad. My mom was hysteric. My dad was dying.

"I made a few phone calls and got a 0600 flight from Dover to Colorado Springs. I had to leave base at 0400 to get there. When I walked out to my care, two men were waiting for me: LtCol and LtCol. They asked, Magoo, what do you need? I said, right now, all I need is a hug. Those men were from the class of 1981 and 1983.

"Men of outstanding character.

"I look around this room, having been in your shoes. And I've already spoken too long, but I want to leave you with this. I see 2500 eyeballs looking back at me. You've all volunteered to serve during a time of war. And I know the enemy had better be afraid.

"God bless you all."

Brigadier General Tod Walters is a graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and a member of the class of 1982. He has over 4900 hours in the F-22, F-15, OV-10 and T-38. He spoke at the class of 2012 Commitment Dinner tonight.

Commit

2010-08-04T12:08:00.000-06:00

Tonight, I commit to at least seven more years in the Air Force: two more at USAFA, five on active duty.

It means I'll have a job for at least seven years.

It means, if I leave tomorrow, I owe the Air Force at least $200,000.

It means I could wind up in combat in three years.

I'm ready for it. Just like when I started dating my girlfriend, my overall commitment won't change: I'm still committed to God, and I'll do whatever His will is. All other commitments are subject to that one.

And that's a good place to be.

BCT: Things I learned

2010-08-03T20:29:00.001-06:00

Consistency.
It looks simple on paper: leaders have to be consistent. But it's not that simple, especially in an environment like BCT. It's hard to be hard all the time, and it's hard to find the middle ground between hard and soft, but closer to hard.

BCT's not supposed to be easy: there's gotta be yelling, there's gotta be lots of PT, there's gotta be early mornings. Sometimes, we do things just to stress out the basics, see if they can handle it. But they're only gonna follow if they know you care. So they have to know you care, without you coming off as a softie. And you have to stay in the same spot - the hard-but-caring cadre spot - the whole time.

One way to do this is simply to serve your suboordinates.

Service.
Give them the tools to do their job: in this situation, mainly water and food, and even PT. If they're legitamately injured, take care of them. The USAFA Command Chief told us today that "sergeant" means "servant". It's who you gotta be. Love the ones you serve. Love the ones you lead.

Presence.
I never knew a command voice could earn you respect. But if you're loud, clear, and confident, people listen and people act, whether or marching a flight or getting in someone's face.

Cadre don't make mistakes. They have to be that perfect example, that shining cadet who never screws up. they have to stay on top of things. Who wants to follow a screw-up?

Or, worse, who wants to follow someone who screws up but doesn't do anything about it? I was texting my brother at the BCT graduation dinner. Stupid. A major came up and asked if the dinner was boring me. In front of the basics - that was embarassing. I knew I screwed up. She took my phone.

Knowing I screwed up, I apologized to my basics for my poor leadership and the bad example I set. They left, and the major was waiting for me. She told me she wouldn't normally correct cadre in front of basics, but what I was doing was agregious. She was right. She talked about setting an example and have pride in all we do. Taught me a good lesson.

The next day, one of my basics told me he thought the way I handled the situation was very honorable. Today, I found out that kid asked me to pin on a shoulderboard for him.

So, don't screw up. But if you do, own up to it.

Respect.
"He who feels the respect which is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them respect for himself..." - Major General John M. Schofield, 1879 graduation address at West Point.

It's true. If you respect your subordinates, they will respect you. And when BCT is over, they just might ask you to pin on their shoulderboards.

I think it feels better to pin on shoulderboards than to have them pinned on yourself.

Hands

2010-08-01T11:51:00.001-06:00

My left hand in yours
My right, lifted high
Worshipping You
Worshipping with you
And I never thought
I'd find myself here
But it's a good place to be.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.9

My ain't it pretty up here?

2010-07-31T10:07:00.001-06:00

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.8

Born to Run

2010-07-25T20:43:00.002-06:00

Someone once told me that if he saw someone running with a smile, he'd try running.

If that was you, you should come run with me. I smile all the time when I run.

I'm not sure if it's the mountain air or the fiery skies or the twisty singletrack or the better-than-barefoot shoes, but running puts a smile on my face.

When you run on the earth and you run with the earth, you can run forever. - Tarahumara proverb, Born to Run

It sounds a little strange, but it's true. When you run light and soft, feeling the ground and listening to its feedback and to your body, you can go as far as you want. I only had time for thirty minutes tonight, but I could've done thirteen miles. It felt so good.

I've realized why the Tarahumara have been wearing huaraches for hundreds of years. Huaraches are the greatest running footwear I've ever worn. These people call themselves Rarámuri, which means "runners on foot". They run between villages for transportation and communication. 100 miles at a pop.

We're all designed to do the same. Besides...

When I run, I feel His pleasure. - Eric Liddell

Basic "Quotes of the Day"

2010-07-21T17:25:00.000-06:00

11 July: "Just don't look into their eyes."
From one basic to another, on the first day in Jack's Valley, during tent setup. Cadre were walking around, basics were filling sandbags, trying to stay under the radar.

13 July: "Sir, are your eyes natural, or are you wearing contacts?"
This question - from a male basic - came out of nowhere. I cracked up because one of my buddies used the same line to hit on a girl in the Dominican Republic. As one of my friends pointed out, my eyes do match my beret.

15 July: "Sir, your dad's really nice."
One of our female basics called me "ma'am". Since there wasn't time to make her do push-ups for it, I had her call my dad and explain why she called me a girl. Dad said something like, "You're smart enough to get into the Air Force Academy but you can't figure out that my son's a man?" As I thought about it, I realized I could have handled the situation better. Dad texted me and asked to talk to the girl again. He did the next day, and really made her feel like he cared about her, asked for her address and her parents' phone number to let them know she was doing okay. Couple days later, she gets a letter from him.

My dad's a great man. But I still gotta figure out how to get this girl to stay focused and keep it locked up...

16 July: "There goes the coolest cadre ever."
See explanation here.

17 July: "Sir, we're gonna get our @ss3s kicked."
The basics got to go to a rodeo this year. Before they left, B-flight commander let them know that there was two hours of free time on the schedule when they got back, and that they shouldn't gorge themselves. "You know what's gonna happen during those two hours?" They knew what would happen.

19 July: "Sir, where are we going? Isn't it bedtime?"
This came as we were forming up the flight to march out of tent city. The sun was going down, and the basics didn't see it coming. I answered, "No, we're going to do some PT." The basic gave a smirk. "Why are you smiling? Does PT make you happy?" "Yes, sir!"

20 July: "Sir, you came out of nowhere and I couldn't control it."
I noticed a basic smirking, so I looked at him, and he couldn't keep it locked up at all. Guess I'm funny lookin'.

20 July #2: "Sir, I love your attitude."
Our basics come up with little chants to say when we start marching. I didn't like one of them, and I told them so. The flight stopped, and I heard one of the girls say, "Cadet Seibt doesn't like our new chant. Well, I don't like Cadet Seibt's attitude." She was joking, and I knew it, but I dropped her for push-ups anyway. "Sir, I was only kidding!" She knew I wasn't being mean with the push-ups, but we got to 25 and she said, "Sir, I love your attitude." I answered, "Are you coming on to me?" "No, sir!" We knocked out five more push-ups and got up.

Broken

2010-07-19T09:26:00.000-06:00

I am broken.
You are Healer.

I want to see Your face.
I want to hear Your voice.
I want to feel Your touch.

I am broken.
You are Healer.

I want to talk with You.
I want to walk with You.
I want to laugh with You.

I am broken.
You are Healer.

I want to feel Your breath.
I want to hug Your Son.
I want to worship You.

I am broken.
You are Healer.

Lord Jesus, come quickly.

Coolest Cadre Ever

2010-07-16T22:17:00.001-06:00

"Sir, I was talking to my friend Dan and he said, 'There goes the coolest cadre ever.' It was you. He said you were coming to fill up a canteen and he was there with facepaint on. You asked, 'Isn't it a great day to be an American Warrior?' And you asked how Ops-Warrior went for him and his flight. He told his classmates to make a hole for you to fill up your canteen, but you told them not to, that you could wait. You thanked them for letting you go first and said 'Good afternoon, gentleman' as you walked away."

It's the little things that count, I guess.

The One Mode or Other

2010-07-13T22:12:00.001-06:00

When I was a four-degree (freshman), I wrote a post about Schofield's Quote. I still know that quote by heart, and I was teaching it to my basics today as they waited to for weigh-ins.

It's a good quote. Part of it goes like this: "It is possible to impart instruction and give commands in such a manner, in such a tone of voice, as to inspire in the soldier no feeling but an intense desire to obey..." I stopped them after that line and asked them how the other flight cadre and I were doing on that. They had good feedback - one of them mentioned a little mid-beat-session motivational speech I gave them last night - but I'm not sure if they really thought we were doing well or if they just didn't want to tick me off. I hope it was the former.

Then, randomly, one of them asked to ask a question: "Sir, are your eyes natural, or are you wearing contacts?"

I busted up. Manny had used that line on a girl in the Dominican. Once I recovered myself, I told him where I'd heard that line before, and he started smiling. I told our Peruvian basic what the line was in Spanish, and the follow up: "Pensé que eran contactos porque son tan brillantes."

The basic responded smartly, "Yo no creo eso, señor."

You checkin' me out?

2010-07-11T22:37:00.000-06:00

Walking across the Jacks Valley Training Complex (JVTC) to grab some sandbags for my basics, I passed by another flight standing at attention. One of the basics looked straight at me, realized I was looking at him, then snapped back.

I walked up, got in his face. "Basic, you checkin' me out?"

"No, sir!"

"You lyin' to me? 'Cause I just saw you look at me."

"No, sir!"

"You think I'm sexy, basic?"

No answer. Here comes Tyler, the flight commander and a friend of mine. Apparently, this basic's been causing some trouble.

Tyler: "You think Cadet Seibt is sexy? You wanna have some cuddle time with him later? But you can't tell me if you do."

The basic smirks. I yell: "Are you serious!? Wipe that smirk off your face. I'm tempted to drop you right now."

Tyler: "On your face." He gets down, throws his rifle in the dirt and puts his hands on top. I yell at him for that. His classmates join him. I yell, "My cadence!" The basics respond: "Your cadence!"

"One, two three..."

"One, sir!" And so on.

I tell them to get up after twenty four-count pushups. Get in that basics face again. "Sorry, but that's all I have time for."

Tyler: "Oh, you can come by later, Cadet Seibt."

"I will."

Ready?

2010-07-10T11:46:00.000-06:00

2nd BCT (Basic Cadet Training) starts today. I'm gonna be an element leader, in charge of ten or so basics. But I'll be involved in the training and mentoring of our whole flight of about 30 basics.

I'm nervous: will I do a good job? Am I as good as the guys who trained me? I still can't believe I'm standing in their shoes.

I've seen guys have a great impact on their basics, as Cadets and more importantly as Christians. And I've seen guys screw it up.

My prayer for our basics is that they would become greater cadets than I am. That their class would be better than my own. And that they would realize I follow Jesus, and that realization would make them want to come alongside.

It's not gonna be easy - for them or for me. But I'm sure we'll all learn a lot.

Barry, the perpetual worker

2010-07-08T21:12:00.000-06:00

Here's an idea: make a perpetual whirlpool. You get that thing going and it won't stop. Take out environmental factors. You could make one as big as the Hoover Dam. Think of the turbines you could spin!

Or how about gravity? You know, Archimedes was one of the greatest. He thought, "What if we take gravity and instead of working against it, we work with it? That's energy!" That's a motor!

Tell ya what, Nathan. Once you get out of the Air Force, we'll build us a little lab and we'll figure this out. You and me. The good 'ol days are comin'. I'm like Butch Cassidy: I've got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

And you never lose that little boy "What's this? How's this work?" Never lose that.

Have a good 'un.

You too, Barry.

Love that man.

Below boring altitude

2010-07-07T13:11:00.001-06:00

Pilot: "Do you know where we are?"

Copilot: "We're in North Dakota."

Good to know. Our pilots had spotted a tower they didn't see on the map and wanted to mark it. They actually knew where we were, but they liked to BS in the front.

They also liked to fly. I didn't know a Huey could do 80 degree banks. It can. Right around the ridge. There musta been about forty feet of clearance from blades to cliff.

We flew out to a canyon on the northern end of the badlands. The flight out was uneventful - flat farmland. We flew along, fifty feet above the ground, flying around cows and farmhouses so as not to anger the farmers and flying over powerlines so as not to die. We were in completely uncontrolled airspace: no one had us on radar, no one had us on radio.

Deer jumped up and sprinted away from us. Calves ran; their mothers just stood their and swiveled their heads. Ducks spooked, and left trails of white foam on the water before they took off. Our shadow, blades chopping and sun shining through the doors, followed us across the ground.

We reached the canyon and headed for a place with some LZs (Landing Zones) set up on pinnacles. One of them was a patch of grass on top of rock, with a hundred-foot drop all around. We came in steep, and the crew chief leaned out of the window to guide the pilots in. The pilots couldn't see the ground - just the empty space over the edge of the cliff. The crew chief directed the pilots: "Ground in four, come back one on the way down." I looked out the back. The tail was hanging over the edge. Front: nose hanging over the edge. Sides: couple feet of space each way. Good landing.

The crew chief stood on the skid as we took off. We flew over the water, looked down and saw 4-foot fish silhouetted in the sunlight. We flew along the cliffs at the lake's edge, watching the layer of coal. We stayed low, fifty feet over the water, throwing it into tight turns.

We stopped at a Guard training area to practice tactical landings: come in fast and set it down. We hopped out to pee, and stayed on the ground to see what it looked like. They took off and went around, out of sight. Popped up over the trees before we could hear them, and had it on the ground in ten seconds. Awesome. We ran under the rotors to get back on.

The rest was pretty simple: just followed the highway back to base. Flew through the windmills. Those things are huge, four hundred feet tall, including blades. Takes seven trucks to get one of 'em out here.

Our pilots - one an '05 grad, one '07 - told us helos are pretty much the only real flying left in the Air Force: everybody else goes to 30,000 feet and obeys the Air Traffic Control, following their highways in the sky. These guys are always VFR (Visual Flight Rules). They stick close to the ground, go where they want, and actually maneuver their aircraft around obstacles. There's no auto-pilot. There's no auto-anything.

Seems like a pretty cool career. And, if you speak a foreign language, they might even send you to train Venezuelans to fight drug cartels. Or maybe fly with them. Or something like that.

"¿Tú sabes dónde estamos?"

"Estamos en Dakota del Norte..."

There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard...

2010-07-03T21:16:00.001-06:00

The sun, a glowing orange ball that blends into the orange sky around it, is sinking below the horizon.

There's a front of clouds to the west, a deep purple, their fringes also glowing orange.

On the backside of the front, closer to me, it's raining. The sunlight shines through the rain, and it too glows orange.

The clouds above are layered and patchy, with spots of blue sky breaking through deeper blue clouds.

The soft rain falls on my face. It feels good. It smells good.

Our God is an awesome God.

Poverty is hard to swallow

2010-07-02T22:40:00.000-06:00

Island

2010-07-02T22:29:00.001-06:00

I saw the island as we drove into the park. I want to go there.

So we drove to the beach, dropped our stuff under a cottonwood, and I waded into the water. It was chilly; I went slow so my body could get used to it. Then I swam over the buoys and into the big water.

Out in the channel, it was pretty chilly. I saw my arms move through the green water, but I had no idea about what could be swimming below me. That's a long swim. I looked back. Can I make it? Is it worth it?

If only for the workout, yes. I kept going, watching out for boats and making a big splash at any headed my way. It was a long swim. But once I started seeing cottonwood seeds on the water, I knew I was close. I swam over the tops of drowned birches and waded through drowned grass to reach the shore.

Once there, I headed inland. The grass bent beneath my feet and made for a nice cushion. I walked towards the ridge, skirting the thistles and walking through the deer beds. It looked like no one had ever been on the island.

Up on the ridge - if it could be called a ridge - I looked up and saw a large buck. He stood there, silhouetted against the water, the sun shining on his golden back. It was a perfect picture, with the grass covering his legs and the blue sky covering everything. He looked at me, and I looked at him. His antlers were rounded and fuzzy. Young whitetail?

He took a few steps toward me and put his head down. I took a step. He looked up. I froze. He continued walking toward me, followed by a younger buck. They both walked towards me.

I took a step towards them and they bolted, blowing air through their nostrils. I didn't see white tails. They bounded through the grass, down towards the trees and the water. I never saw them again.

I followed them to the other side of the island. I laughed out loud, running through the grass, surrounded by water, bathed in sunshine, under the big blue sky. On the other side, there were cliffs, looking over the water, with deer beds on top. Wouldn't it be awesome to sleep in the deer beds, just a couple feet from the cliff's edge, and wake up to a sunrise over the water?

I explored the cliffs a bit, above and below. Found a beach with lots of shale rock, good for skipping. Found a piece of petrified wood.

I headed back towards the park, slipped into the water, and made for a trail I saw on the other side. Four loons swam across in front of me. Their red eyes watched me; they'd dive under the water and reappear thirty yards away. I wish I could have heard them sing. I wish you could have heard them sing.

Across the water again, I walked through fields of wildflowers and grass. I headed back to the beach, sat down and thought about how amazing the earth is.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth...

Thoughts from the Chief

2010-07-01T19:06:00.002-06:00

"They say there's a girl behind every tree. But there are no trees!" It's tough for the single guys here in Minot. There are a lot of young cops on the base, who like many young men, have two things on their minds: booze and women. But they're not allowed booze - most are underage - and women are scarce. So they tend to get in trouble or get out. Morale's a big challenge here - on top of the lack of things to do, it's super cold, and Airmen are living two to a dorm.

"Sometimes you gotta lie. As a leader, you can't have a bad day."

"I'm a pretty optimistic guy. I get to go home to bed with the woman I love. It doesn't matter where we are - she's my wife, I love her, and I'm happy. Plus, since being up here, I bought a riding lawn mower - it's great. I upgraded my snowblower - and my wife didn't say anything. I've got a lot of new hardware." As he said that, he had a nice big grin.

"I went to basic training in 1982. There were some Cadets there - I don't know what their job was. There were Corvettes - yours - in the parking lot. I remember one day, one of the Cadets stood over us, with arms crossed, and asked us military history questions. Even if it was the day before graduation, we'd been in the military six weeks. And I was a hippie. He only asked questions he knew the answer to, arms crossed, standing over us. I still remember his arrogance. That was 28 years ago. There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Don't be arrogant. I don't think Lieutenants should talk. They should be quiet, in sponge mode. Just learn."

"To this day, I stand up when a Second Lieutenant walks in my office. It's how I've been trained. They outrank me. It's a sign of respect - they did what they had to do to become an officer, and I admire them."

"A lot of times, when airmen find out my wife's a Major, they feel I can't understand their situation. When they think of a Chief married to a Major, they think, 'They're rich'. And they feel I can't identify with them. But they forget that I was an Airman too, making grocery lists, shopping at the commissary, living in a trailer with a wife and a kid. I've been there too." The Chief's wife used to be enlisted - she went to OCS and commissioned a while ago. So don't worry, it's all on the up-and-up.

All this comes from the Wing Command Chief. 28 years of service, wants to re-enlist, but can't - max is 30 years. He's earned a lot of respect.

Git swol

2010-06-29T23:08:00.001-06:00

I hadn't worked out with weights since freshman year of high school. I usually just ran or swam or biked for my workouts. Until last week.

Why did I start lifting again? There are a number of reasons.

First, the gym's close, and free. That's one nice thing about being on base: a warm-up jog takes me to the front door of a well-equipped and clean gym.

Second, it feels good. Of course, so does running, but that doesn't do much for my arms.

Third, I need to build upper body strength to get ready to train Basic Cadets. I can't just take them on a five-mile run every afternoon.

Fourth, I'm jealous of my little bro. Kid put on like forty pounds since I left home, and he can take me - sometimes - in a wrestling match.

Fifth, it looks good. I've never been a fan of "show muscle". You know those guys with really big, useless muscles? I don't want that. I guess I got that from my dad, and from Barry. Muscles are useless if you can't buck a thousand bales of hay with them. But, they can look good and be useful. That's what I'm going for.

So, sixth, they're useful. For training basics and bucking hay and swinging hammers.

And beating little bro in wrestling matches.

I wanna fly helos

2010-06-29T11:14:00.001-06:00

As a little kid at the Dalton Fly-In, I was always mesmerized by the helicopters. Coast Guard would come in with a rescue chopper; I think Air Force or Army came in with a Blackhawk as well. Little kids dream of being firefighters; I dreamed of being a Coast Guard rescue chopper pilot.

Now that dream - or something very close to it - is very possible. I could fly Combat Search And Rescue (CSAR) choppers for the Air Force. I've been talking to guys who've maintained and flown those birds and similar birds. MH-60 pilots are currently on a four-month-on, four-month-off deployment schedule to the AOR (Area Of Responsibility; Iraq and Afghanistan). Many of them are getting burned out.

But there's talk of unifying the stateside helo mission with the deployed helo mission: guys could do a couple rescue tours in the AOR, then come back to the States, flying the same birds for missile defense and VIP transport. Seems like a good solution: no burnouts, and one single helicopter to fly and maintain.

Talked with an '05 grad today who flies Hueys here at Minot. Here, they "rescue" snow-stranded missileers in the winter and fly security for missile convoys. Seems like a pretty cool mission, if boring. But last weekend, they got to fly to Fairchild to do some mountain flying and training. Sounds like they had a good time.

'05 grad also talked about pilot training - he did it at Pensacola, with the Navy. He said it's a lot more laid back than AF UPT (Undergraduate Pilot Training), but it can take a lot longer to complete. Of course, I wouldn't mind spending some extra time in Pensacola.

There are a lot of Huey bases stateside; not really an overseas mission for them. MH-60s base out of England and Japan as well as some pretty neat bases in the States. Not many bases for CV-22s yet, and no seems to know what will happen with them.

In any case, it looks like a good path. I'm looking forward to wherever God takes me.

You can trust me.

2010-06-28T22:52:00.001-06:00

Trust is a weird thing, isn't it?

I remember talking to my dad about trust. He told me there are three guys he would answer if they asked him to show up in the middle of the night with a shovel and a shotgun.

"What's the shovel for?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter. I trust them, and they told me to bring a shovel."

There are few people I trust. Dad's one of them, and so is one of the men he trusts. There are maybe three others. It takes a while to earn my trust, and not too long to lose it. I guess I'm introverted in that sense.

At the same time, I feel I'm a person who can be trusted. But I've realized that telling someone, "You can trust me" doesn't demonstrate trustworthiness at all. It's mostly just words. A phrase won't create trust. Trust takes time.

I'll earn your trust making memories of us. - Keith Urban

I suppose that's true, whether or not it's a romantic relationship. I trust my dad because he dove into a muddy pond to pull me out. Because he pulled countless pieces of gravel out of my leg. Because he always got me home safe, whether we were walking or riding or driving. I trust the other man because he showed up to the hospital when I needed someone. Those are memories, memories of me with them, when I needed them most - and lots of memories when I was in no danger, but it was nice to have them around.

Of course, one of the reasons I trust both of these men is their faith: I've seen them proclaim it, and I've seen it in action. I trust these men because they trust God.

Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. - Psalm 20:7

Double Tap

2010-06-24T15:05:00.000-06:00

I slap the mag home, pull the charging handle, and flip the safety to 'fire', bringing the rifle level, looking through the red dot scope.

A man's silhouette pops up in the grass. Tap, tap. Instinctively, I double-tap him, center mass. He goes down. Another pops up. Tap, tap. Another. Tap, tap. Tap, tap. I keep shooting until my mag is empty, knocking down every man that pops up.

A buzzer goes off, I flip the weapon to safe, pull the mag and show the TSgt next to me that the chamber's empty. We walk back to the trailer. Somebody asks me, "So ya wanna be a cop?" I guess I shot pretty well.

In the shoothouse, we stack up outside the door. There's a hostage inside. I'm the number two man. The one man rolls in, yells out about a door on the left, and rolls right into it. I follow. We clear it as the hostage screams that he's about to get shot. "Room clear! Two coming out!" "Come out!"

We roll out and stack up in the hall. Jeff and I roll into another room. There's a man with a gun. We have him go hands up with his back to us, and tell him to drop the gun. He releases the mag. There's still a round in the chamber. He starts to turn. Jeff shoots. He's down.

We move into the main room. There's a man on the couch, I assume he was the hostage. He jumps on Jeff's back. I wrestle him off and go down with him. He's got Jeff in a choke hold. I peel off one of his arms and nearly pull his shoulder out. He's done.

We clear the rest of the house, grab the hostage, and get out. I got sprayed across the legs, but no chest or head shots. Two shots gave me some nice welts. They were 9mm simunition rounds - basically paintballs, fired out of an M4. Pretty sweet.

Things I learned:
-Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.
-The first thing you look for on a human is the hands. They can't shoot you with their feet.
-Stick close to your buddies. Like, 'no homo' close.
-In combat, people can't feel small touch signals. You gotta slap them, and not on their armor.
-Double taps are effective. Also, they impress cops.
-Red dot scopes are fast.
-Sniper school sucks.
-I want an AR-15.

War, want and concentration camps

2010-06-20T10:28:00.000-06:00

"War, want and concentration camps, exile from home and homeland, these have made me hate strife among men, but they have not made me lose faith in the future of mankind. ... If man has been able to create the arts, the sciences and the material civilization we know in America, why should he be judged powerless to create justice, fraternity and peace?"

-Nicholas Kristof's dad, from his father's day column.

El Monumento

2010-06-17T19:53:00.004-06:00

I lay on my back and look up. A few stars shine above the monument, clouds form in the night sky. How did I wind up here? I can't believe how great this is.

We sit and talk about relationships we've had and relationships we have, about kissing and about faith. About how God made this city and these mountains and these stars and these people. But He's here, next to us, listening, speaking. Can you hear Him?

We talk about Spanish and Dominican Spanish and travelling and leaving. Beer cups rattle across the cobblestones in the breeze, engines roar in the city below, the merengue band moves to the other side of the hill.

Two of Jesson's friends show up. I listen to them speak about their music, sobre las diferencias entre merengue tradicional y merengue de la calle: tradicional trata de amor y cosas románticos; la calle habla de violencia y todo eso. Que lástima.

Back with Julio and José, we talk about hammocks and extreme hammocking and how there's a Spanish verb for rocking in a hammock: jamaquear. Awesome.

Jesson's friends tell me of a beautiful place up in the Northern mountains. José: "Allá, cerca de las luces, al otro lado de las montañas." Julio: "No, má'; pa' 'llá, má' pa'; 'llá." They tell me of great eagles that dive from 2,000 feet to grab gallinas and puercos and carry them into the air, of waterfalls higher than the monument, with huge rocks that fell to the river.

I tell them I'm from Michigan and they know about the lakes. I tell them of the time I saw an eagle dive to the water, grab a fish, and fly to a tree to eat it. They tell me more about their country: bonito, bonito, bonito, bonito, bonito. I wish we had more time to explore.

The city is quiet now. I wish you were here, letting the cool breeze blow through your hair. We could talk about God and la naturaleza and relationships. I could pay the trio to play some merengue and we could dance on the cobblestones under the monument and under the stars. We could make plans to go see the eagles and swim in the rivers and jump off the waterfalls.

Would you go with me?

Thank You

2010-06-13T08:58:00.003-06:00

Thank You for panaderías and the sea and ships and stars and lighthouses and waves and rocks and loud horns and lovers and hammocks and palm trees and techos and mangoes and heat and huaraches and sunrises and clouds and rain and rivers and rapids and waterfalls and Español and cubano sandwiches and spanglish and chinola and tans and running and sweat and bandanas and music and relationship and love and worship and You.

Santo Domingo

2010-06-12T19:33:00.002-06:00

"$2.50 for a short tour. $7 for a tour on the Dominican Titanic and the chance to see all the lakes."

The Dominican tour guide had that much down in English - bad English. I know, you said that, but where are we?

A place called Los Tres Ojos, apparently. The Three Eyes. The "eyes" are "lakes" - ponds, really, underground. They were created by an underground river which filled some caves. Then the roof caved in 5,000 years ago. Now, there's this tropical forest growing out of fallen choral rocks - once upon a time, the cave's roof was under the sea.

The Dominican Titanic turned out to be a barrel raft we rode across one of the lakes, under a cave. Stalactites hung from the ceiling and bats flew around them. I shined my flashlight on a group of them, hanging upside down, sleeping on the roof.

The fourth lake - apparently, they discovered another one after they named it - seemed like it was out of a movie. It was open to the sky, with vines crawling down the sides. Fish swam near the shore, and larger black fish defended their nests against small gray fish. The water was apparently 300 feet deep.

Our next stop was the colonial zone. Pretty cool, walking on 500 year old streets.

We went to the oldest cathedral in the New World. Beautiful. I went to the back and looked to the altar, under the the vaulting stone arches, over the heads of some people praying in the pews.

I watched someone bow, cross himself, and kneel to pray, crossing himself again. Why do people try so hard to get to God? Why build a huge cathedral and go through a ritual just to talk to Him? Yeah, He's God Almighty, but He's right next to you. And He loves you.

The hands that hold the world are holding your hand.

Crazy, huh?

A sign outside about the church was commissioned in the "Fifth century of the discovery and evangelization of the Americas".

I wouldn't say the Americas were discovered 500 years ago, and I think God was working on their salvation long before whites got here.

A Good Death

2010-06-12T19:28:00.002-06:00

The sun was lighting up the western sky, setting the clouds on fire. I began running, exploring the barrio to the south, ultimately finding myself at a familiar intersection.

July's house is that way. But I could see the sun setting to through a suspension bridge to the west. I put the sun in my face and ran along the river a la puente.

La gente me miraba como si era loco. Supongo que no suelen a ver un hombre blanco y grande corriendo por sus calles, con sudor en su frente y moccasins en sus pies.

I reached the bridge and ran across it as the muddy river rushed by underneath and the glowing sun dipped under the western clouds. "Permiso, hermanos," I said as I came up on a group of young guys. They parted, surprised and slightly amused.

After coming back across the bridge, I found Calle Restauración and headed for the city's center. After turning at El Encanto (the Dominican Version of Walmart), I got a little mixed up and had to ask a man on the corner for directions to the monument. Surprisingly, he answered in English, even though I asked in Spanish. "Follow the road until it ends and turn left. There big" - here he raised his arms wide - "monument."

Following his directions, I found myself at the base of the hill the monument sits on. I did three sprints up the front steps. Seems like a popular workout spot; there were some locals there doing stairs and calisthenics. I suppose I should explain what this place is: it's a big tower over a building with statues of and quotes from the Heroes of the Restoration - Los Heroes de la Restauración. Basically the Dominican Washington Monument.

From the top of the hill, the sunset was incredible: although the sun had fallen behind the mountains, the western sky looked like fire. As I turned for home, the colors began to fade into night.

Genson, my seven-year-old house brother, asked where I went.

"Corrí a la puente y al monumento."

"¿Por qué fuiste al monumento a pie?"

"Porque me gusta correr."

"Morirás corriendo. Algún día, te vas a morir corriendo."

"Entonce', será una muerte buena."

I went inside for a shower, but the water didn't work. I was soaked in sweat. No AC, no shower. The joys of running.

Monica made me a greasy sandwich - great recovery food. Now Genson wants to play patilla - baseball with water jug caps and a broomstick. Entonce', he terminado de escribir.

If you want a translation, let me know.

Snakebite

2010-06-12T07:07:00.001-06:00

We're running Falcon Trail, charging down the switchbacks. We're racing. I take the lead, then lose the trail. We're crawling through the underbrush. We come across a man sitting there. He crawls with us.

I hear hissing in the leaves. It's a small cobra. I take out my knife and think about chopping it's head off. I don't. We see the cobra has three buddies. We sit calmly.

The fourth cobra strikes, but not hard. Its upper fang is in my knee, between my skin and my kneecap. I strike at it with my knife.

I wake up. The sun is shining through the curtain. My heart is beating fast and my knee hurts.